Monday, 6 December 2010

I Miss My Old Life (Sometimes)

It’s Monday! That means a new week and a new theme for the TASG. This week we’re all writing about friendships and current social lives.

I had this list planned, with categories and possibly a chart, but I've decided to just know, from the heart and stuff.

On Monday nights I sit in a cozy English pub with friends and acquaintances and play trivia. This is something I did a bit of in the my early 20s, but life changes and new social opportunities replaced this ritual for awhile, but now I’m back at it.

I sit with people I used to consider close friends, but I walked away - I hid in different bars and pubs, met new people, tried new things. But sometimes sitting with these people just feels right.

I miss my old life sometimes.

I am good at being friends with boys. I was one of the guys, or at least that’s what I started out as. And I’ve since realized that being one of the guys was my favourite social role. No sexual implications, just friendship of the plutonic sort! I messed with this delicate system that worked so well for so long, and I had to back off. But, now I’ve been replaced by other girls - other girls who are one of the guys. And while I try to reminisce about old times, I can’t help but feel like I’m using a visitors pass for a club I used to be a member of. I miss that certainty. The certainty that I would have something fun to do most days of the week.

Now, all my friends are scattered. Some are in serious, long-term relationships that take precedent over friends (especially single friends). Some have moved for work. Some have a new group of friends as well. Some are still in school and busy with that. Some work all the time. And some are willing to let me play trivia with them on Monday nights at the pub.

I have my friends I met through work - and I’m grateful for them. Without that in my life I’d surely go mad from boredom. However, I do sometimes feel old when hanging out with that group. I’m the oldest (at least of the girls) and sometimes I feel like I’m just re-doing my early 20s because I spent mine being stressed over school. I never partied really - so I feel like I’m making up for that. But somedays it feels like I’m trying too hard to fit in with them kids!

God, I miss my old life sometimes.

So when I’m at the pub, on Monday nights, I feel better because I’m with my peers. I’m with people I went to high school with. I’m with people my age. I’m with people who don’t think I’m old. But it can’t be like how it was years ago. We've all grown up. We've all changed.

My social life is a mixed bag of things. I chat with my out-of-town friends online and through Facebook and texts. I try to plan and organize gatherings and events. I invite people to movies, concerts, shows, nights out on the town. Sometimes they come, sometimes they don’t. Sometime I put my pajamas on at 9 P.M. on a Saturday night and watch TV on DVD till my eyes cross.

So, while I have a few life-long friends, it doesn’t mean my calendar is full all the time. And you know what? That's fine with me.

Tune in Wednesday for my internet friend Tom’s take on friends and social gatherings!

And come back Friday (or Saturday...or Sunday) to read Lauren's!

We've actually got the whole month of December planned for this blog - which is rare for us, as we usually plan our themes last minute. Also, if there are any topics you'd like to suggest, please leave them in the comments!


  1. I guess I should have gone with a funnier approach.

  2. I really liked this post, I've just been a terrible blog friend lately and haven't gotten around to commenting on this yet.

    I can totally relate to the whole being-alone-on-a-Saturday-night-even-though-you-have-good-friends thing. Social lives get so weird post-college. For example - tonight my social life consists of sitting in a room with a couple of old hippies and drinking tea while working on various creative writing projects. This is not really what I thought my post-college life would look like...

  3. Don't worry, you're just's that time of year. I'm even busy, and I'm never busy!

    I will likely spend a lot of Saturday nights at home in the winter just because it's cold and I won't want to go out.

    Can't wait to read more about hanging out with old hippies on Friday (or Saturday...or Sunday...) I'm kidding about the late I said, it's tough when real life gets busy :)

  4. Reading this I'm struck by how similar it is to my ocean may separate us, my Canadian friend, but somehow we've found our way into the same situation.

  5. Yeah - that is the beauty of the TASG! We find our common ground. I felt like I was taking a risk this week - going with a non-funny post - but I just went with it.

    Next week I'll bring on the laughter (hopefully).