Where's Tom?

Hey all! I know some of you probably saw that Lauren posted her Halloween post yesterday - yay Lauren! But Tom is still M.I.A. - so this is what I, the Canuck, propose we do: Take another week off (if you didn't notice, no one posted last week - not even myself). We might have to change the format of this blog - maybe make it bi-weekly instead or something.

I know that the last email I got from Tom said he was really busy with work and that he had been staying at the office late every night. Hopefully he returns to the land of the living soon to grace us with his presence.

Not too much is new with me, trying to get all my Christmas ducks in a row and such.

Cheers,

Allison

Putting Away My Summer Clothes

So cold!

Welcome back to The Transatlantic Support Group! We took the summer off to chill out and not feel the pressure to blog weekly for a bit, but as the cold weather rolls in so do we. Blogging is really an indoorsy activity, so it only make sense.

We started this blog around this time last year because there's just something about fall that makes 20-somethings a bit sad. Maybe we miss the back-to-school feeling. As students we got so used to major changes happening this time of year. New classes, new people, that we're let down when autumn is just a colder, sadder version of summer.

But let's not start out a new TASG season all depressed - let's reminisce. Let's talk about our summers.

WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACATION

by The Canuck

• I went to England in May

• I got into a relationship that was long-distance for most of the summer. Scary, but good. I am officially an insane version of myself!

• Had a lot of cold pints on patios with amazing people.

• I listened to new music from bands I love and bands I've just discovered.

• I saw a few movies: Bridesmaids, Bad Teacher and Harry Potter (3D!)

• I saw the musical adaptation of Billy Elliot with my mom and two of my aunts.

• I ran my first 5k race and ran my second 5k charity fun run.

• I met up with old friends from years ago.

• I visited my university for the first time since graduating in 2007.

• I went to the driving range.

• I threw a goodbye party for a friend who left for college.

• I took plenty of naps.

• I learned to enjoy mornings and wake up earlier.

• I nearly gave up coffee, but still have the occasional cup at work, but only in the morning.

I'm sure I did more than that, but that's just a quick re-cap. It wasn't the best summer ever, but certainly not the worst.

Hope you all had amazing summers - or at least not the worst.

Tom - Mr. Wednesday, I can't wait to here from you love! (I'm dating a fellow Brit, so I'm allowed to talk like that now, right?)

Stand by Us

Me enjoying a rugby match in Bath, UK.

So you guys have probably noticed that this blog is kinda lacking lately. Lacking Tom especially. I do hope that we return to our regular scheduled programming soon - but in the meantime please stick by us!

This week I say our topic be "My Busy Life."

Right now, my life isn't that busy. I work and when I'm not working I fill my time with other frivolous activities - such as, going to the pub. I'm also filling my time with catching up on all the shows I missed while I was in the UK. How I Met Your Mother, House, Modern Family, and Big Bang Theory. I live a full and interesting life.

Anyways, I know Tom and Lauren are quite busy right now - but hopefully you'll hear from them soon.

Sorry for the short and sweet post.

Cheers,

The Canuck

Blogging: People IRL Just Don't Get It

I made a new friend IRL last week (IRL stands for "In Real Life," in case you didn't get the memo).  We met at an event that was going on in the basement of my commune and instantly bonded over music.  We've been hanging out a lot.  We stay up too late writing songs, listening to obscure progressive rock bands, and having profound discussions about the meaning of life.  I've known him for about a week and a half, but it feels like I've known him longer.  So a couple of days ago, I foolishly decided to share a secret with him.

"So I have this blog..." I say.

He gives me a suspicious look.

"Actually, I have two blogs..." I say.  "I have one blog where I just ramble about my life and another blog where I give advice in the form of a song to people I've never met." 

There's an awkward silence. 

"That's cool," he says, adjusting his big black hipster glasses.  "But I don't really give a shit."

He sees the disappointment on my face and attempts to sound like less of an asshole. 

"I mean, I've got you right here.  You're right in front of me.  You're like a whole collection of blogs.  I don't need to read about the version of yourself you put out there on the Internet for the world to see.  I don't give a shit about that, girl."

I've found that a lot of people IRL have that reaction to my blogging habit (though most don't articulate it quite like that).  I used to post the URL to my blog on facebook and then feel slightly unloved when only two of my 300something friends took the time to read it (my mother and my bandmate, naturally).  Then one day I realized that I didn't really want all of my facebook friends reading my blog.  I took the link down.  I joined 20sb.  I immersed myself in the blogosphere and found people from all parts of the world that could understand and appreciate my blog in a way that my friends IRL could not. 

Originally created to document a rock and roll tour that never left the ground, my blog has become a cozy little place to share stories and thoughts with people all over the world.  Sometimes I get paranoid about people I know IRL reading it and finding a way to get offended.  I also worry that my ex-boyfriend is reading it (I have no desire to keep him up on what's going on in my life).  But then I remember that he didn't even really read it during the year we were together.  And I realize that I have nothing to worry about. 

The moral of the story:  Only people that blog will really care about your blog.  The rest of the world doesn't give a shit.  But I'm totally okay with having it be like that.  It turns the blogosphere into a sacred hiding place of sorts. 

Anyway, I raise my cup of coffee to you, my darling blogosphere.  Here's to a great escape from all things IRL.

And with that, I shall sign off.  This is The Yank wishing you a totally supercalafragi-bad-ass Friday.  Keep on rockin in the free world. 

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

While the difference between real-life Tom and the Tom-that-blogs is not as marked as Dr Jekyll and his evil alter-ego, they are by no means the same person. I mean I am one person but, like everybody else, I'm made up of a multitude of different identities*. To my parents, I'm a son. When I'm with them, I behave in a way that's completely different to the way I behave with my friends. Without meaning to, I assume a different manner depending on who I'm with. The same applies to my online persona.

Firstly, like Allison, my blog is a secret from all but two of the people I know in real life. Initially, I kept it under wraps because I wasn't sure if I'd keep it up. As if I were pregnant, I left it precisely three months before telling anyone. I have to say, I don't think this secrecy is good for me. I feel like a spy, doing all I can cover my tracks and avoid discovery of the virtual skeleton in my virtual cupboard. The other day the girl that sits next to me at work created a Twitter account. I went into meltdown. "If she finds my twitter, she'll look at my followers. She'll see that I follow 20sb. She'll find...oh my God, I can't even say it. I CAN'T EVEN THINK IT." After the panic dispersed and I regained my sanity, I asked myself why the possibility that she could stumble across something I'd written bothered me so much. And I couldn't really think of an answer.

Looking back at my (embarrassing) first post, I described three reasons for starting a blog;

1. To help me remember the interesting things that I do.
2. To remind me that my life is interesting, no matter how bored I may feel [This seems incredibly similar to point 1, and why it's a separate reason is unclear even to me. Hey ho, you live and learn.]
3. Something about London, which, again, is complete nonsense and doesn't make sense.

Fortunately, my blog took on a life of its own. It evolved. It acquired a purpose I hadn't considered; it now enables me to communicate the thoughts I have that I'd never drop into conversation with friends or family. Either because I'd be embarrassed to, or worried I'd cause offense or because it would be out of character, I suppose.

In real life, I don't come across as a thoughtful person. I doubt you'd think I'd have anything interesting or unusual to say if you met me on the street, or drinking in the kitchen at a house party. I'd say the first impression I give off actually veers dangerously towards vacuous and shallow. And I don't mind that really, mainly because I now have somewhere that reminds me that there is more to me than what people usually see.

But the best bit, as Allison has already mentioned, is the people who read what you write and write what you read. I love the fact that after a day of mind-numbing dullness in the office I can come home and read about tempests in the Philippines or rude Canadian coffee-drinkers, blossoming romance and embarrassing drunken antics from all of the world. I can be transported to other countries, read about other highs and other lows, and that's a great thing. It never fails to make the world seem a more colourful and exciting place than the grey, monotonous one I'm sometimes convinced I live in.

In conclusion, I would say that my blog persona is most similar to the patient and long-suffering Dr Jekyll; a respectable, thoughtful and quiet individual engaged in constant a battle with my far more raucous and far less interesting real-life self. Unfortunately, it's normally the stupid drunk one that wins. That's all from London. Now for a few words from our American correspondent...

This is 'Work-Tom'. Please note bags under eyes, pale skin from too much time indoors, and look of despair.

* I would pretend that this is a theory I was the first to expound, but I know you'd see right through it. I've read about it somewhere, I just can't remember where. If you're desperate to find the answer, I'd ask Rachel; the fountain of all philosophical knowledge.

Caught In a Landslide, No Escape from Reality.

This week The TASG tackles the expansive topic of “Real Life VS. Blog Life.” I actually got this idea from a friend - a friend in “Real Life” who reads my blog. She’s one of the chosen few I’ve allowed to cross over into this world. She wanted to know more about how one might keep up with a real life while also carrying on an online identity.

While I don’t blog anonymously, I do, however, keep my blogging life to myself and only let a select few in my real life know about it. I guess I do this because I am sorta, kinda embarrassed about it. I feel like I’m SO into my blog that some people in my real life might be freaked out by my dedication. It still feels like a nerdy hobby to me, and only other bloggers understand.

What’s funny is that for nearly a year I blogged with just a few real friends reading it. I was actually afraid to join 20-Something Bloggers, the social networking site, because I was afraid of what strangers would think if they read it. I was afraid of mean internet HATERZ! But guess what? Without that site I wouldn’t have “met” Lauren and Tom and this site would not exist. I’m so fickle, I know.

Basically I love my little Quarter-Life Crisis posse and I wish I could visit each and every one of you.

That said, I have never online dated or anything, so I don’t have much experience in meeting online friends in real life. I do have one story for you that I was thinking about while I was in the shower the other day (a great thinking place, by the way).

I still have my MySpace account. I haven't updated
it in years - hence my youthful face - unhardened
by life. I was "complacent" when I last updated.

Back before Facebook I used MySpace - as so many of us did. The thing about MySpace was that anyone would and could add you - not just your friends and acquaintances. I was in Second Year at York University in North York (Toronto) and lived on campus. A guy named Chad added me to MySpace and he lived in Toronto, closer to Downtown, but he went to a Technical Institute type college near York and also had a radio show on the York Glendon (our other campus) station. He would catch the free Glendon shuttle bus at York’s main campus. After adding him to MSN Messenger he asked if I wanted to meet up with him before his shuttle bus arrived one evening. I reluctantly agreed.

I had plans for later that night to watch The O.C. with my friends, so I knew it would just be a short visit. I got a tea and waited for him in the Student Centre. We met up and he got some Taco Bell or something to eat. We talked a bit, and it turned out he was from Napanee, Ontario, originally, and he laughed about how his virtually unknown town got famous because Avril LaVigne was from there. The whole conversation was awkward though - because I didn’t want him to think it was a date. I told him that I never did things like this, you know, meet people from the internet in real life. He seemed surprised, ‘cause I guess he’d met a lot of people this way.

He had to catch his shuttle, and he said he’d play some Guster for me on his show (which I didn’t get to listen to, because I was watching The O.C.). I ran back to my residence and didn’t mention the meeting to my friends. I felt awkward and embarrassed that I’d just met someone from MySpace. After that we only casually chatted and eventually each deleted each other from our virtual lives.

Anyways, that is my one example of letting my “Real Life” collide with my “Virtual Life.” But now that I’m older, I think I’d be cool with meeting a lot of you guys for real. I feel like blogging has really opened up my life to so many wonderful people who, in many ways, are just like me, even if they live across the sea or across the border.

I’m still not ready to let all my “Real” friends know about my intense blogging hobby - but maybe eventually I’ll get there. Sometimes people ask me if I’m still writing and I usually say, “yeah, not really.” It’s so stupid because I should just say, “yes, actually I have a blog, I’ll send you the link.” But no, I don’t, I just tell them I don’t write anymore and they seem disappointed.

Anyways, I could go on and on, but I think I’ll leave it because I’m sure Tom and Lauren each have interesting takes on this topic as well. I’d love to know how each of you handle your blogging hobby etc.

But I will end this with a question to readers:

How do you separate and/or combine your “Real Life” and “Blog Life”?

See ya Wednesday Major Tom!

Don't judge me! This is a photo from 4th Year University.
I'm kissing Seth Cohen while wearing a face mask.
I'm trying to up last week's embarrassing photo.
Yes, I had an O.C. poster in my room.
Again, Don't judge me!