The World is Mine!

Obey my dog! (*my parent's dog)

Did you know if you play The White Album backwards it says “Tom isn’t Dead?” True story (*not actually).

Tom isn’t dead, but he’s been quite busy at work and now he’s on a business trip in Italy. I know, Lauren and I kinda scratch our heads at this one. “Business trip?” It’s a foreign word for us. So this week there will be a bit of a switcheroo and Lauren will post on Wednesday (I think, she never actually agreed to this) and Tom will post TWICE on Friday - yep he’s agreed to make up for his lack of posting last week by writing his Pet Peeves post as well as this week’s. He’s a good sport that Tom. I feel like a bit of a control freak when it comes to this blog. While I embrace some of Lauren’s Boho qualities, I am also a bit of an organization junky. Not when it comes to say, cleaning my room, but I like to live on a schedule. Especially now - as it keeps me sane. So I just wanted to explain what’s going down this week on The TASG!

Okay, so I asked Tom for a topic this week - and he said he wanted us to write about a completely made-up situation where we are magically the leader of our respective countries (Queen, King, Prime Minister, President) and we have to write about the perfect world we would create, but in a silly way - non-political. This will be hard for me because my country just called an election for May. I’d love to talk about how I’d banish Stephen Harper as my first order of business, but that just wouldn’t be very “Canadian” of me. We are supposed to be nice, right? (Um, attack ads anyone?).

Okay, enough about politics!

My Perfect World (Or Canada)

In my perfect world everyone would automatically have a career in whatever it is that they’re good at. No one would end up in a job they truly hate and everyone would be happy to go to work for the most part.

Television shows such as Teen Mom and Jersey Shore and whatever other crap MTV produces would be banned. Only clever shows with talented people would be permitted.

I would make it mandatory for everyone to go outside for a walk for at least 15 minutes everyday. This would take people away from their computers, give them fresh air and force them to get some exercise.

This is pretty hard...all my ideas have some sort of social or political slant... Hmm...silly ideas...Oh! Chocolate would be added to the government issued food guide.

I would create a national “Read a Book Day” where everyone would be given the day off to read and relax and avoid technology for once.

While these ideas are far fetched and not possible, it’s fun to dream, right?

See you (hopefully) on Wednesday lalalalauren!

This is what you get when you mess with us

I think Allison did a fine job of explaining exactly why Radiohead strikes such a chord. For me in particular, equipped as I am with a temperament that leans naturally toward melancholy, there are times when no other sound will do. Unlike Allison, I have no musical or historical knowledge. My brain is awash with things that happened today. Tomorrow, it will be empty, filling up rapidly with things that are happening around me. My ability to recall information is almost non-existent, which makes discussion of albums or even band members difficult.

My chosen song, however, was easy: Karma Police is never skipped when my iPod is on shuffle.

Why is it my favourite? Well...erm...I don't know. OK, I'll be honest. I WANT TO BE A KARMA POLICEMAN. Imagine that! I can picture the scene now:

A Karma Criminal is playing crap music out loud on a quiet train carriage, making other travellers uncomfortable and irritable. I notice this, and walk up to him in a cool, calm and collected manner.

"Turn that music off - think of your fellow travellers," I say.

"Or what? Who are you and what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm a Karma Policeman sunshine, and you're nicked. As to your punishment, you will spend a week in solitary confinement, with the sound of a hundred different songs playing all at once when all you want is quiet."

OK, I'm making myself seem a bit insane now, but do you understand my point? Imagine having the power to right the wrongs you see happening around you, to sample the sweet (yet cold) dish that is revenge by making wrongdoers appreciate the consequences their actions have on others. I think I've found my calling.

Realising that a brief, and disturbing, insight into the inner workings of my evidently troubled mind, would not make much of a post, I did take the time to look up the real meaning of the song. And what do you know; it was written for me. I shamelessly lift the following from Wikipedia to illustrate my point:

"It's for someone who has to work for a large company. This is a song against bosses. Fuck the middle management!" Yorke and Jonny Greenwood emphasised in interviews that the song had a humorous bent; Yorke said, "[It's] not entirely serious, I hope people will realize that." Seriously, that's me. I work for a large company and frequently find myself wanting to shout rude words at middle management. I experience rage almost daily, a rage that risks boiling over if, for a minute, I lose myself. I feel, always, that I've given all I can and that it's not enough. My God, this song is ME. The 'not entirely serious part' of Yorke's explanation I'm not so sure about. Rest assured that I've taken this song entirely seriously and, as mentioned, shall devote the rest of my days to becoming a Karma Policeman.

Who you gonna call?

The Karma Police! That's who! And yes, that gesture is supposed to indicate a phone, however it would seem that there's an extra finger raised. At least it's not the middle one!

Lauren Vs. The Dollar Bill

I feel like this topic could not have been picked at a more appropriate time. 

Every time I walk into the kitchen at the commune, someone is freaking out about how they have no job/no money/no means of paying rent.  Some of us are worse off than others, but money is definitely a concern for all of us starving artists.  The reality that money doesn't grow on trees becomes a little scarier every time somebody talks about it. 

I'm doing better than the guy that got his bicycle stolen in the rain and has $40 to his name, but I can't live off of savings forever and it's beginning to make me a bit paranoid.  I keep myself busy with my writing and music all the time, but since I'm not making any money off of it I probably look like a lazy, idealistic, hipster freak to the untrained eye.  I need to start making money off of my creative pursuits (which would involve learning how to market myself) or get a real job.

Unfortunately, I can't just go out and get a real job.  Trust me, I have tried.  The economy is horrible. 

This is all really depressing.  I apologize.  I agree with Tom and Allison that a world without money would be a really nice place.  Money is one of those things that I try to avoid thinking about.  Maybe that's why it took me so long to write this post.  I kept putting it off all week.  I set aside time to write it yesterday but I ended up having car problems and spent too much of my evening dealing with a tow truck driver.  I then went to go dancing with some friends (because no matter how broke I am, I can always afford the cover charge at 80's night) but the boy that was going to come with me totally ditched.

My friend Old Hippy Poet summed it up nicely this morning:  "No wonder you're kind of down today.  The rent is due, your car broke down, and the cute boy didn't want to go dancing with you.  Sometimes, everything just happens at once."  He then spent an hour under the hood of my car and fixed it, which was exciting.  But I digress.

Fortunately, my rent is cheaper than usual this month because of all the days I went without hot water.  And hopefully I can pull the "look, I have no job" card and get my student loans delayed some more. 

I only wish that money could solve silly boy problems, but the world doesn't work like that. 

Anyway, that's all I've got.  I feel like this post is less interesting and more dismal than usual.  I apologize.  I think I will go back to bed at this time. 

Love you guys!

- Lauren a.k.a:  The Yank

My bandmate and I on the one night we got paid for our music

Going Loonie in The Great White North

I'm rich!

So we’re back to typing and writing - no vlogging this week, so I hope you enjoyed it last week - it may be awhile before any of us agree to do that again!

For our January posts we’ve been keeping them light and fun for the most part, but we all know that being a 20-something isn’t always fun. In the past we have tackled difficult subjects such as relationships, future ambitions and getting older. This week we are tackling the subject of money.

Yikes!

Here are some quick things about me and money:

• I work at a cafe and make minimum wage. My pay cheques - even though I work five days a week - are not enough to survive on my own. This sucks.

• I am currently paying back a hefty student loan. This also sucks, but I am responsible and diligent when it comes to making loan payments.

• I wish I could live without a lot of money - I just want to be happy and not care about money. But I also want a lot of freedom, and freedom costs a lot.

• I love to shop. I realize that it’s silly to buy things I don’t NEED, but my argument here is that these things make me happy (for the most part).

• For someone with very little, I am actually really good with my money. I have good credit and always pay bills early or on time. I also have RRSPs - so I’m also investing in my future.

• Greed makes me angry. I hate seeing people my age with so much, and yet they want more. I have nothing and would be happy with just a bit more - I am not cut out for capitalist society.

I wish I could do what I love and get paid for it. Is that too much to ask? A lot of people tell me that I should just do something - something that pays - and that it shouldn’t matter if I hate it because EVERYONE hates their job and that’s just how life is! I say NO! Why should I do something I hate just for money? If I’m miserable at work - and I’m at work most of the week - then what am I gaining? Money to save for when I’m too old to do anything? Yes I work at a cafe now - and it’s not ideal, and most days I hate it - but right now it’s what works for me. Yes, it’s stupid, but yeah, I’m holding out for better opportunities. At the end of the day I’ve made some awesome friends and have a few bucks in my pocket.

One thing I’d love to do is travel more - make that “perfect day” a reality (maybe split into four separate vacations though). Right now travel isn’t very realistic, unless I’m willing to go into a bit more debt for it. Everything I do puts me in a bit more debt, and then I recover, but I’m back to square one. I’m really debating that trip to the UK I mentioned before (in my what I want for 2011 post) - but what’s really halting me is lack of funds. Just say I’m still a barista when I decide to go - I’d have to book the time off - unpaid, obviously. I’d have to put the flight on my credit card, that would take months to pay back. I’d also need some spending money, and after converting Canadian dollars to Pounds Sterling, well I’d be left with a pitiful amount. What keeps me dreaming about this trip is that no one would be able to take that experience away from me - I’d always have the memories and I wouldn’t regret it. But money seems to always win. I feel like I’m too old to be reckless with the few bucks I do have. Should I stay or should I go? Should I be responsible or fun? Can’t I be both?

I do the same thing when buying unnecessary items - such as concert tickets, books, DVDs, music. While these items don’t really put me into debt, they also take away potential savings. When I get my tax money back or any government reimbursement cheque my first instinct is to spend it one something fun - because it’s like free money. But then I feel like I’m just acting like a kid with birthday money and that I need to be more grown-up and responsible. Getting older sucks sometimes!

Basically, when it comes to the little money I do have I am constantly playing tug-of-war with myself. Neither side is right or wrong, just a different approach to life. Some days my head is in the clouds and I feel myself wanting to click “Buy” on those plane tickets. Other days I close the window and try to forget about it.

I wish money didn’t always have the final say in my life. Lauren, maybe I should move to Portland, where young people go to retire.

See ya Wednesday Tom, ‘cause money can’t buy me love :)

P.S. A Loonie is a dollar coin in Canadian currency. We also have a two dollar coin known as a Toonie.

An Open Letter to My Résumé

This week The TASG is writing open letters to things that annoy us (or at least I am). For my post I am tackling a particular subject that frustrates many 20-somethings - searching and applying for jobs!

Dear Résumé,

I’m Allison, remember me? The girl with all the education who works at a coffee shop? You’re supposed to be helping me! Now, while you look pretty (thanks to me), you aren’t functioning the way you should. I’m so frustrated with you I could tear you to pieces and just start fresh.

Okay, so I lack experience, but I make up for it in transferable skills, no? Why aren’t you pushing my skills? My ability to work well with deadlines? I’ve proofread you time and time again, re-ordered you, changed your font...nothing. It leads to nothing.

When will you succeed for me? I can’t get more experience until someone finally believes in you. Do you believe in me, Resume? I’m beginning to think you’re sabotaging me on purpose. Giving me spelling errors in transit, after I’ve pressed send.

I work hard each day serving people with “real” jobs coffee, and they look at me like I’m just another apron providing them with caffeine. I work a job that I could have gotten with a resume filled with spelling and punctuation errors, but I chose you because I want to aim high - I want to do better.

So Resume, you and I have to chat. We have to work something out soon, because I’m not getting any younger and time is a’wastin’!

Don’t even get me started on your friend Cover Letter.


Sincerely,

The Coffee Girl Canuck

Happy Halloween! File this under embarrassing photo #4!

Bonjour & Welcome!

Welcome! You may have seen comments on various blogs referencing The Transatlantic Support Group or The TASG and wondered what we were up to. Well here we are. If you read our “About Us” section you’ll know that each week on this blog two awesome bloggers, lalalalauren and TbR, and myself will be posting weekly as a way to talk about our struggles with the real world. We agreed to a weekly schedule of Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I am doing Mondays, TbR Wednesdays, and Lauren will finish off the week with Fridays.

We also agreed that we should do weekly themes - each of us writing on the same topic. This week’s topic is “Who Am I and What Am I Doing With My Life?” as a way of introducing ourselves. The three of us have separate blogs that we will continue to use - so if you follow us on those, you should probably just follow us here too. You won't regret it.

Who am I?

I’ve never really written this stuff on my main blog, but I feel like The TASG was created for stories like these, so here we go.

I’m Allison and I live in Southern Ontario, Canada - between Toronto and Niagara Falls basically. I am, at the time of writing this, 26-years-old (yikes). I have an Honours Bachelor's Degree in Professional Writing from York University in Toronto. I graduated in 2007, here is a photo of me at my convocation:

After graduation I spent four months tricking Mastercard into believing that I was a paying them, when really I was just taking money out from my credit card and then paying the minimum payment with it. This is what I call creative banking! In other words, I was unemployed. After four months of soul-crushing resume sending, I managed to get myself an unpaid internship with a local community living magazine. I was the Editorial Intern and got my name published a few times. I guess I did a good job, because in December 2007 I was hired on part-time as the Editorial Assistant - a title created for me. I had a desk, an email address, and new responsibilities. Oh, but I’ve forgotten something...back in August when I took the internship I knew I needed a paying job too. A former co-worker of mine from my high school/summer/Christmas retail job, suggested I apply at the lakeside cafe she worked at. So, I was making a bit of money while working for free at the magazine.

When I got hired at the magazine I kept the job at the cafe because the magazine job was part-time only and I needed to make some extra money and my evenings and weekends were free.

As most of you know, in 2008 the economy was beginning to go through...a rough patch. It was hard for us, a small, free publication to survive. So on February 15, the day after Valentine’s Day, I was laid off after less than three months of employment. 2008 was a long time ago, nearly three years I realize. But you have to understand that the publishing industry totally changed due to the recession. Places were downsizing, books and magazines were going online, and no one was hiring. I’ve been through many “what am I doing with my life” phases over these past few years and to be honest, it feels like a blur.

Time is not on my side.

So what am I doing with my life? I’m still working at the cafe. I have done a bit of freelance editing and proofreading, but nothing that will get me out of this rut. I took an online course and didn’t find it that useful. I apply for the occasional job, but I don’t even know what I’m good at anymore.

Why can’t my job be this? Why can’t I just get paid to write about my life. Works for David Sedaris, why not me? I guess I’m not as funny and my family isn’t nearly as wacky as his.

So there you have it folks, the sad story of me.

Oh and if you care:

I am 5’3”, I have green eyes and brown hair. I have two cats and live in the suburbs. I have a brother who is nothing like me. He is good at science and plays sports. Not that I suck at sports. I played soccer for 12 or 13 years (that’s football to you Tom) and I run on a semi-regular basis. I also love arts and crafts - painting and making things. So, I do plenty of awesome things with my life, just none that will make me any money. I love to read, also.

When I was a little kid I wanted to be an artist when I grew up. I feel like 7-year-old Allison is still holding on to that dream.

Crank up Radiohead’s “Just.”

Can’t wait to hear what you have to say on Wednesday TbR!

The Canuck!