Monday, 29 November 2010

I'll Leave You Alone Forever Now you guys, you know...loyal followers...want to, I dunno...have coffee with me sometime? Um, don't have to. I understand if you don't. Urgh, you know what, forget that I asked. I'm so dumb. You wouldn't want to...

Okay, I'll leave you alone forever now.


We've all had these moments, and unfortunately mine have mostly come from awkward encounters with boys and men. When it comes to liking someone who you aren't 100% sure about it can be hard to break the ice and ask them out. I've been on both sides of the awkward fence.

I'll give you two examples. One where I was awkwardly asked out, and one where I awkwardly tried to ask someone out. Both were, um, really embarrassingly pathetic. 

EXAMPLE A: Nerdy mall security guard is nice enough to talk to, but 18-year-old jewellery kiosk employee really wants the guy who works at the record store.

One evening kiosk employee forgets something in the mall, and has to return at close. Nerdy is there, and is quite awkward when he approaches her to tell her he thinks she's really great, and interesting, and nice to talk to...blah blah blah...and asks her to go out with him sometime.

Kiosk girl wants to say no, but doesn't want feelings to be hurt, since she knows she'll see Nerdy often. So she says, "I'll think about it, okay?" and leaves.

Next shift where they're both working, Nerdy approaches,"So, have you thought about it?" Kiosk girl feels awful, but has to let him down easy.

Now, that is awkward!

EXAMPLE B: Kiosk girl is now a Barista at a cafe and her favourite customer (at the time) is a animator who sits in her store and draws for hours with his medium coffee, in a mug.

[Sidenote: You may remember him as Cartoon Boy from the relationships post.]

Cartoon Boy is older, but is back in school to study animation. His dream is to work for Disney! He is very chatty and very friendly, and was extremely sympathetic to the Barista when she was laid off from her "real job" as an editorial assistant. 

During his reading week (a week off for college/university students) he comes in, and the Barista's hands get shaky. She tries to use his week off as an excuse to hangout with him outside of work.

"Um, so yeah, if you're free this week....let me know...if you want to get coffee or something."

This awkward statement is misunderstood as an invitation to come back to the cafe for coffee.

He leaves and nothing comes of it. He then moves away to Sudbury, Ontario.

Damn, that's awkward.

Anyways, it's also extremely uncomfortable to run into people from high school. It happens to me a lot because I live in the city where I went to high school. At the mall, at work, at the bar, at social gatherings, you name it - they will find you and remind you that you're a failure! Sometimes you just don't want to deal with it, so here are three ways to avoid talking to these people:

1. Pretend you're on the phone.
2. Hide behind a book or magazine.
3. Fashion a clever disguise.

I hope this post didn't make you feel too awkward.

Hey, Tom? Do you want to maybe, I dunno, write a post know, awkward moments? It's okay if you don't want to, I totally understand.

But if you do, would you be able to post it on Wednesday? I totally get it if you're busy and don't want to or think this is dumb. God, I'm such an idiot...

Anyways, I'll see you Wednesday Tom! 

Great post last week Lauren, I want some nachos now!


  1. I would love to get coffee with you, if, you know, I were in Canada, or you were in Seattle. You know what, never mind. I love your clever disguise but you forgot to draw a mustache on your finger to make it absolutely convincing that you are not Allison, because you are in fact a man, with manly facial hair.

  2. I didn't forget to draw a mustache, I was just throwing these photos together rather quickly - using objects within my reach and my webcam. I wasn't really willing to take the joke that far. Lol.

  3. Love the disguise, and I'm a serial offender when it comes to pretending to read or be on the phone when someone's trying to talk to me.

    This will make me sound awful, but I sometimes do it with beggars on the tube - I pretend to read AND listen to music at once, which is silly. I just can't say no. If I get talking, I'll start paying :(

  4. Yeah, I forgot about headphones! Headphones are key in avoiding someone.

  5. I totally understand this!! I live in a small city, and I run into people I went to high school with all the time too. I hate it!! They often ask me what I'm doing with my life and I always say, "unemployed student." All my friends love it the small city feel, i.e. "It's great going to the bar and knowing everyone! It's wonderful going to the grocery store in p.j.s looking like shit and running into the people who used to tease you in elementary school!"

    Thanks for the tips. I'm so trying the disguise.

  6. yeah - K-money - the key is to look as crazy as possible, then your former classmates will want to avoid you just as much as you want to avoid them!