Food food food! (for lack of a witty title...)

Oops. It's technically Saturday. Let's use our imaginations and pretend it's still Friday, shall we?

Like most people, I like to eat. But I don't always like to cook. I generally surround myself with people who like to cook so I don't have to.

For those nights when I am faced with the challenge of cooking on my own, there is a magical place called The Canton Grill.

Pure magic, I say

Seriously. It's my standard go-to place for decent Chinese food. I've been eating there since the dawn of time and I think I've ordered a Number 3 since I was twelve.

Long live #3!

Very few meals can top the comfort of a chow mien recipe that has literally been the same for years and years. And the fried shrimp is the best in town, if not the best in the world (I'll just stick with saying it's the best in town - claiming that an American Chinese food restaurant makes the best Chinese food in the world seems slightly ignorant/insensitive...).

But there are nights when one of the following is true:

a) I'm feeling cheap.
b) I don't feel like leaving the house.
c) I'm not in the mood for Chinese food.
(I just remembered that I'm ALWAYS in the mood for Chinese food.)

On one of these nights, I may attempt to cook something spectacular.

Like scrambled eggs:

Dammit. These were supposed to be eggs...

Maybe I'll search for leftover food in my fridge but become offended by notes from my past self instead of finding anything good to eat:

Living with myself is so difficult sometimes

On a night such as this, I may break down and cook one of the few things I can confidentally say "Why yes, I've got a pretty bad ass recipe for that up my sleeve." It's the ultimate comfort food and I can eat way too much if I'm not careful.

What am I talking about, boys and girls? Nachos. I am talking about nachos.

I did not make the nachos in this picture. But that doesn't stop them from lookin mighty fine! If those nachos were a man, I would...oh nevermind...

I can't let Allison be the only one with a recipe, so here's my bad ass recipe for nachos.

Lauren's Bad Ass Nacho Recipe:

Things you need:
- A bag of tortilla chips (I recommend those ones that come in the red bag)
- A jar of salsa (I'm into salsa verde these days. Don't let the fact that it's green scare you - it's delish)
- A can of black beans
- Chicken (Because I'm lazy, I always buy the little bag of pre-cooked chicken next to the lunch meat in the deli, but you're totally welcome to grill up some chicken and season it however you want)
- A can of olives (pre-sliced, unless you want to slice them yo self, foo)
- Cheese
- A pan that looks like this:

If this tray could talk, it would be saying "Make nachos on top of meeee!"

- Disco music (It will enhance the nacho-making experience. Trust me.)

This is what you do:

1. Before you do anything involving food, make sure the disco music is playing at a respectable volume. And by respectable, I mean loud enough that Tom can hear it in London (unless you live in London - then aim for Allison in Canada).
2. Lay the chips out on the tray.
3. Put beans on top of the chips. You don't need to use the whole can, but you are welcome to if you are feeling really enthusiastic about beans.
4. Allow the chicken to colonize on top of the chips and beans. Break the chicken up into bite-sized pieces and evenly distribute it all over.
5. Dump salsa all over the chips, beans, and colonies of chicken. Use a spoon to avoid a giant mess.
6. Grate cheese and throw it on top of the whole affair. Don't be stingy - cheese is the best part of nachos!
7. Sprinkle olives on top!
8. If you're feeling extra hungry/feeding multiple people, you may want to add another layer to the nachos. If this is the case, pile more stuff on. If this is not the case, it's time to put the nachos in the freaking oven.
9. I should have told you to preheat the freaking oven. I forgot. Turn it on to 350 degrees Farhenheit (or any other degrees, as long as it's Farhenheit).
10. Dance to the disco music while you're waiting for the oven to heat up.
11. Put the nachos in the oven. Set a timer for 6 minutes and keep a loose eye on them. Cook them until the cheese is melted and the chips look all crispy and excellant.
12. Pull it out of the oven and EAT NACHOS!

Nachos get two thumbs up from The Yank

There you have it - Lauren's Bad Ass Nacho Recipe.

Okay, so posting a recipe for something as obvious as nachos is mildly retarded now that I think about it. But that is my comfort food of choice! Well, besides combo numba 3 from Canton...

Hi, I'm slightly pathetic. :D

Aaaaand that concludes this week's episode.

This is The Yank, signing off!