Monday, 11 April 2011

The TASG VS. Suburban Moms

This week the TASG is writing adventure/superhero stories about ourselves. Hope you enjoy my installment!

In the suburbs of Southern Ontario...

The Canuck is working at a quiet, lakeside cafe alone on a sunny Monday afternoon. She’s ground enough coffee for her shift, restocked the milk, and swept the floors and there is nothing left to do. She fiddles with her phone and wishes she didn’t have four more hours to go.

She decides to make herself a nice hot cup of Earl Grey when suddenly the doors burst open and a mob of yuppy moms with strollers charge at the counter. They demand organic decaf, half-sweet soy moccas, and gluton-free cookies. They scoff when not all their requests can be met right away, if at all. The babies start to cry and the mothers get restless and start demanding that their drinks be made faster.

The Canuck cannot deal with this madness alone without having her ass handed to her by a yoga practicing mommy so she raises her Transatlantic Super Ring in the air.

From across the ocean and borders The Yank and The Brit receive the signal. The Yank is in the middle of playing a killer keytar solo at a local bar in Portland, Oregon, when she is summoned by The Canuck. Tom is at a Fulham match on a cool day in London, England, when his ring lights up alerting him of trouble in Canada. He wraps The Elder Scarf around his neck and flies into the sky.

Meanwhile, back in Southern Ontario, The Canuck has pulled out her magic hockey stick and is using it to swat away the Lululemon-clad super moms. Soy milk is flying and babies are bawling. Suddenly the the front door kicks open and The Yank and The Brit come to save the day. Lauren promptly plays some lullabies on her keytar to pacify the evil babies while Tom charms the moms with his lovely accent and fashion sense.

The Canuck holsters her hockey stick and is finally able to finish up the drinks and send the ladies on their way. As a thank you she gives her TASG Super Friends lattes on the house. The three of them sit on the patio and enjoy the view.

Tune in on Wednesday for more TRANSATLANTIC SUPPORT GROUP adventures courtesy of The Brit.

This is my embarrassing photo this week - it's not really a photo, it's a drawing.
I suck at drawing faces. If there are any artists/cartoonists out there who'd like to draw us,
I'd love that!


  1. OMG. I love every bit of this. Especially the drawing. Brilliant. :)

  2. Hahahaha thanks - I just wrote it last night. Better get your crayons out!

  3. I'd like first of all to point out that I'm drunk.

    Secondly, my dress sense is less than perfect. My accent, however, is
    definitely british, perhaps that's enough. I hope.

    Maybe the Elder Scarf blinds people to my fashion woes?

  4. British accents are always enough.