Thursday, 7 April 2011

A Slurred Word from the Brit

If ever you feel like you need a drink, please refer to the above photo as a reminder of how bad an idea it can sometimes be.

Reading Allison's list of things she does when she's had a drink but would never do sober set some bells ringing. Singing, dancing, hugging, texting people I shouldn't; it's all a bit too familiar. One thing I always find myself doing when drunk which I've never had to do sober is running for the last train, leaping up the escalator at Fenchurch Street in a mad rush to catch the 00:25 departure. When sober, I won't even run for a bus.

I think I've blogged before about the time a bouncer escorted me off a dance floor after I fell over and I accidentally held his hand as he led me through the crowd. I don't think I've told anyone about how I was sick all over my dad on Boxing Day (I blame the bacon sandwich, not the hangover). The list of my alcohol-fuelled embarrassments is long and...embarrassing.
People at work have noted that after two pints I sound like someone from Eastenders (the bald one in this video here). I stress I sound nothing like this normally. My laugh also transforms into a pantomime cackle, and I think everything sounds like innuendo.

My friends, I am not a man who can hold his liquor without making a complete twit of himself. There may come a time, in the distant future, where I can nip to the pub for a swift pint without feeling the need to dance, cry or pull stupid faces.

And while part of me is impatient for a respectable drink, there's another part of me that's secretly in love with Drunk Tom, because he's more fun, less inhibited and sounds like a TV character. I don't think I'm ready to grow up just yet - besides, the sun's coming out for the first time this year and it would be rude not to greet it with a bevvy or two.


*pulls stupid face*


  1. I'm sorry if this showed up in feed readers about five times, it kept publishing as one giant block of text rather than paragraphs. It made me most annoyed!

  2. That is my new favorite picture of you, Tom.

    If I'm ever in London, we are getting drunk and going dancing.

    That is all.

  3. This is fantastic Tom! I love Drunk Tom too!