Wednesday, 30 March 2011

You WILL Bow To My Statue!

In the future, all bouquets will be made out of wires...and I will rule the world!!!

So if I ruled the world...

-  Everyone would have a government-issued alarm clock in their home that would wake them up with "It's A Beautiful Life" by Ace of Base.

-  Drip coffee would be free in coffee shops.

-  Listening to Ke$ha would be illegal.

-  If you are male and you want to wear tight pants, you have to get a permit for that.

-  Scratch that.  I shouldn't be so discriminatory.  If you are anyone and you have the desire to wear tight pants, you have to get a permit for that.  If you exercise your right to wear tight pants incorrectly, you may find yourself at the mercy of The Muffin Top Police.

-  I don't mean to be narcissitic, but if I'm gonna rule the world...there really needs to be a statue of me somewhere. 

-  You can get a ticket if you're caught not dancing in your car at a stoplight.

-  If you are vegan, you have to sew a red "V" onto your clothing.

-  Chocolate would be issued to everyone for free by the government (like in Allison's world).

I feel like if I keep going, I'm going to end up creating a communist state in which I am the derranged dictator...

I think I'll stop while I'm ahead.

Happy Wednesday!  See you on Friday, Major Tom!  This is ground control, signing off!


  1. I love the Muffin Top police! That's so awesome and necessary! I like the Vegan things too - so you don't have to get an earful if you accidently offer them a hamburger.

  2. I love the idea of forced dancing in cars at traffic lights.

    'Oh no, it's a red light. I'm completely NOT in the mood for a boogie but I have to, it's the law. Here goes..."