Wednesday, 23 February 2011

This is what you get when you mess with us

I think Allison did a fine job of explaining exactly why Radiohead strikes such a chord. For me in particular, equipped as I am with a temperament that leans naturally toward melancholy, there are times when no other sound will do. Unlike Allison, I have no musical or historical knowledge. My brain is awash with things that happened today. Tomorrow, it will be empty, filling up rapidly with things that are happening around me. My ability to recall information is almost non-existent, which makes discussion of albums or even band members difficult.

My chosen song, however, was easy: Karma Police is never skipped when my iPod is on shuffle.

Why is it my favourite? Well...erm...I don't know. OK, I'll be honest. I WANT TO BE A KARMA POLICEMAN. Imagine that! I can picture the scene now:

A Karma Criminal is playing crap music out loud on a quiet train carriage, making other travellers uncomfortable and irritable. I notice this, and walk up to him in a cool, calm and collected manner.

"Turn that music off - think of your fellow travellers," I say.

"Or what? Who are you and what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm a Karma Policeman sunshine, and you're nicked. As to your punishment, you will spend a week in solitary confinement, with the sound of a hundred different songs playing all at once when all you want is quiet."

OK, I'm making myself seem a bit insane now, but do you understand my point? Imagine having the power to right the wrongs you see happening around you, to sample the sweet (yet cold) dish that is revenge by making wrongdoers appreciate the consequences their actions have on others. I think I've found my calling.

Realising that a brief, and disturbing, insight into the inner workings of my evidently troubled mind, would not make much of a post, I did take the time to look up the real meaning of the song. And what do you know; it was written for me. I shamelessly lift the following from Wikipedia to illustrate my point:

"It's for someone who has to work for a large company. This is a song against bosses. Fuck the middle management!" Yorke and Jonny Greenwood emphasised in interviews that the song had a humorous bent; Yorke said, "[It's] not entirely serious, I hope people will realize that." Seriously, that's me. I work for a large company and frequently find myself wanting to shout rude words at middle management. I experience rage almost daily, a rage that risks boiling over if, for a minute, I lose myself. I feel, always, that I've given all I can and that it's not enough. My God, this song is ME. The 'not entirely serious part' of Yorke's explanation I'm not so sure about. Rest assured that I've taken this song entirely seriously and, as mentioned, shall devote the rest of my days to becoming a Karma Policeman.

Who you gonna call?
The Karma Police! That's who! And yes, that gesture is supposed to indicate a phone, however it would seem that there's an extra finger raised. At least it's not the middle one!


  1. Tom - I love this post so much! I really hope that someday your dream of being a Karma Policeman is realized! I totally know what you're saying about people being loud in quiet situations. So ignorant. I could have used you at the doctors office today when a lady loudly answered her cellphone in the quiet waiting room. All the old ladies just stared at her.

    Also, great song choice - Karma Police is a really amazing song.

    Love the pic!

  2. Hahaha. Well? You're gonna make a good karma police.

    Wait. I take it back. You disagreed with me on my last post. So I disagree with you on this. I totally do!!! I hold grudge, you know?


  3. Great post! Karma Police is totally one of my favorite Radiohead songs.
    Also, I think that being a karma policeman would be one of the most bad ass things ever.

  4. Karma Police kicks ass.

    I think if anyone could ever rock as the number one karma policeman, it would be you.