My name's Tom, and I'm a scarf addict.

Last week, I innocently mentioned that I enjoy buying scarves. I thought that would be all there was to it. But no - my mystery topic, courtesy of Allison, arrived in my inbox at the weekend: "MY AMAZING SCARF COLLECTION."

I wasn't sure how to begin, so I released them from my wardrobe for a while. In doing so, I realised that at least three are missing, which is upsetting. But I'll save my tears for later, in the meantime - without further ado - please let me introduce you to...my scarves. I hope you understand the importance of this situation; it's like meeting the parents, only a much, much bigger deal. So here's the gang:

1 - THE STRAY. I'll be honest, I have no idea where this one came from. I don't remember buying it and I suspect it's not actually mine. However, I obviously liked it enough to either steal it, or adopt it and give it a loving home when it had been left out in the cold by its first owner. I'm selfless like that.

2 - THE IT-SCARF. This scarf sits comfortably at the top of the scarf social hierarchy. It's easily the most popular, the one most often found around my neck. One of the reasons for this is that on the reverse it's grey, black and red, which goes very well with my black coat that's red under the collar. All hail the King of Scarves.

3 - THE CHAV. Bought in a market for a fiver, this fake Burberry scarf was one of my less-informed purchases. However, on the odd occasion I do feel brave enough to venture out wearing it, if I ignore the judgemental glances of my fellow commuters. You see, in the UK, the Burberry brand was hijacked by chavs. The wearing of such a cheap imitation Burberry scarf may convince other people, in more expensive and respectable scarves, that I'm going to steal their wallet and spend their hard-earned cash on cheap cider and cigarettes.

4 - THE ELDER SCARF. This is the oldest scarf in my collection. I've had it for about 10 years now. Every now and then I think of an item of clothing, pair it with a colour or pattern, then yearn for it obsessively until I find one exactly like what I'm imagining in a shop. I think it's magical, honestly. I have a gift. The green hoodie in the frog photo was one of these. Other instances of this include red converses and a blue and black horizontal striped jumper. This wonderful black and white scarf was another, and my desire was not misplaced. It has served me well through many a harsh winter, and will continue to do so.

5 - LA SCIARPA ITALIANA. No, it's not an expensive Italian silk scarf. It's a football scarf, which I purchased when I went to see Cagliari (the city I lived in) play Treviso. I bought the scarf before realising it was actually really short and wouldn't fit around my neck without serious risk of strangulation, so I ended up wearing it like this instead:

6 - THE MIGHTY FULHAM SCARF. On the subject of football scarves, here we have my new Fulham FC scarf, which was a Christmas present. I'm hoping that it's cold enough for me to warrant me wearing it on Monday night, when FFC meet Chelsea at Craven Cottage. We'll need all the help we can get. Come on you Whites!

7 - THE SURPRISE ENTRY. This was also a Christmas present. Apparently I asked for it, but I have no recollection of doing so, whatsoever. Not that I'm ungrateful, it's very nice and I shall wear it, I'm just worried that my addiction has started to take over my soul. Perhaps it's slowly eating away my free will, making me ask for scarves (or worse, steal them) and then making me forget all about having done so. Sly. This could get me in trouble...

Well, I hope you enjoyed this root around my wardrobe, and that it didn't bore you too much. If you ever get a cold neck, you know who to come to. HOWEVER, if you think my scarf collection is a bit over the top, take a look at my ties (and I don't even need to wear one to work):

There are over 20 here. And, again, there are some missing.