A Very Awkward TASG Halloween

So, this is a day late, for which I apologise. Last night I tried to post a stalling message that read something along the lines of:

"DUE TO OBSCENE AND IMPROMPTU DRUNKENESS, THIS POST HAS BEEN DELAYED. NORMAL SERVICE WILL RESUME TOMORROW."

However, my drunken thumbs wouldn't let me send it. Damn them.

This, I believe, was a blessing in disguise, because I didn't have this idea until this morning. Now, I know it's not technically a comic as it's only one picture, but I am immensely proud of myself.

So, without further ado, my imagining of a TASG Halloween:

Pfft.

If I'd zipped the hoodie up, it would read 'REPUBLIC'. Just saying.

The last two weeks have forced me to reassess my relationship with the Royal Family. Relationship is the wrong word - it's not like they invite me round or anything. My opinion of the Royal Family would perhaps be a better wording.

A few weeks ago, I was certain. I was sure that they are neither use nor ornament and should be ousted in favour of someone like me, who would use the tax payer's hard-earned cash on drink and fun instead of fancy cars and castles. In this way, the country would be united under a monarch who was just like them.

However, in the run up to the wedding things have reached fever pitch. I walk past shops selling Kate Middleton masks. MASKS I TELL YOU. My brother's girlfriend is having a street party. The hairdressers on the High St is offering a ROYAL WEDDING DISCOUNT. It's as if the world has gone mad and I've unwittingly wandered into 1950.

But then it hit me...it's not annoying me. I don't look at all the hype, all the Union Jacks, and feel anger. I feel something else. Is it...patriotism? I think it might be. And that's unusual. You see the British don't often celebrate British-ness. It's quite a rare occurrence. Unless you're Welsh or Scottish in which you have loads of options. The English, then, rarely unite unless there's a World Cup on. But despite the differing opinions on the matter, at least everybody's talking about the same thing for once.

It's difficult to put aside 20 odd years of not knowing what the Windsors actually do, but I think for tomorrow I will try. I'll concentrate on the pomp that Allison mentioned. And, as I'm going to a Royal Wedding party, on the drink that I hope will be flowing soon after they tie the knot.

But after tomorrow it will be business as usual. Honest.

Less Than Sober Moments With The Yank

Believe it or not, alcohol not one of my favorite things. I like to go to pubs and drink beer with my friends occasionally, but I usually try to avoid getting absolutely trashed. Maybe it's because I know I'm a lightweight and that if I have more than two drinks I become downright obnoxious. Maybe it's because my social circle lacks that person who can always hold it together enough to drive home so I end up attempting to act responsible. Or maybe it's the fact that hangovers are horrendous and I have never said to myself "Oh man, I am so glad I drank that much last night!"

But I do have a special list of things I do when there is alcohol in my system. Some are more incriminating than others. The list is as follows:

- Laugh loudly at things that aren't that funny. The time I drank vodka and watched "Labyrinth" with some friends was nearly a disaster. Sure, it's got a kitsch factor, but it's not worthy of a laugh attack every time David Bowie comes on the screen.

- Sing every song at the club. If I'm not careful, I can easily transform into that obnoxious person who exclaims "I LOVE THIS SONG" within the first few notes of every new track.

- Appreciate the music of Ke$ha. When I'm sober, I think the music of Ke$ha is appalling. But when there is alcohol involved, I just have to dance to it. I will even go so far as to sing along. Last time I went dancing, my friends found me singing "Tik Tok" in it's entirety with a random gay man. There were hand motions involved and everything. Horrifying.


- Dance as though I'm in a choreographed music video. I have no problem dancing when I'm sober, but when I've had a couple of drinks I tend to get really into it.


- Play charades on a friend's front lawn. Ladies and gentlemen, this is why I stay away from tequila. I stood with my arms extended and yelled the words "I AM A MAILBOX" to an entire neighborhood. I think I forgot that you're not supposed to talk in charades.


- Talk in a variety of fake accents. Usually I go back and worth between Indian and Eastern European. I've also been known to have really long, deep philosophical conversations entirely in a fake accent when under the influence of alcohol.

- Send incoherent text messages. Phones need to come with built-in breathalyzers.

- Email Tom and Allison to inform them that I have been drinking. Usually I put something really clever in the heading ("Drunk Lauren Is Drunk!").


- Wear a sparkly red cape in public. Even when going to a gay nightclub, cape-wearing is not a sober activity.

There's probably more but I will stop incriminating myself at this time.

A Slurred Word from the Brit

If ever you feel like you need a drink, please refer to the above photo as a reminder of how bad an idea it can sometimes be.

Reading Allison's list of things she does when she's had a drink but would never do sober set some bells ringing. Singing, dancing, hugging, texting people I shouldn't; it's all a bit too familiar. One thing I always find myself doing when drunk which I've never had to do sober is running for the last train, leaping up the escalator at Fenchurch Street in a mad rush to catch the 00:25 departure. When sober, I won't even run for a bus.

I think I've blogged before about the time a bouncer escorted me off a dance floor after I fell over and I accidentally held his hand as he led me through the crowd. I don't think I've told anyone about how I was sick all over my dad on Boxing Day (I blame the bacon sandwich, not the hangover). The list of my alcohol-fuelled embarrassments is long and...embarrassing.
People at work have noted that after two pints I sound like someone from Eastenders (the bald one in this video here). I stress I sound nothing like this normally. My laugh also transforms into a pantomime cackle, and I think everything sounds like innuendo.

My friends, I am not a man who can hold his liquor without making a complete twit of himself. There may come a time, in the distant future, where I can nip to the pub for a swift pint without feeling the need to dance, cry or pull stupid faces.

And while part of me is impatient for a respectable drink, there's another part of me that's secretly in love with Drunk Tom, because he's more fun, less inhibited and sounds like a TV character. I don't think I'm ready to grow up just yet - besides, the sun's coming out for the first time this year and it would be rude not to greet it with a bevvy or two.

Cheers!

*pulls stupid face*

My name's Tom, and I'm a scarf addict.

Last week, I innocently mentioned that I enjoy buying scarves. I thought that would be all there was to it. But no - my mystery topic, courtesy of Allison, arrived in my inbox at the weekend: "MY AMAZING SCARF COLLECTION."

I wasn't sure how to begin, so I released them from my wardrobe for a while. In doing so, I realised that at least three are missing, which is upsetting. But I'll save my tears for later, in the meantime - without further ado - please let me introduce you to...my scarves. I hope you understand the importance of this situation; it's like meeting the parents, only a much, much bigger deal. So here's the gang:

1 - THE STRAY. I'll be honest, I have no idea where this one came from. I don't remember buying it and I suspect it's not actually mine. However, I obviously liked it enough to either steal it, or adopt it and give it a loving home when it had been left out in the cold by its first owner. I'm selfless like that.

2 - THE IT-SCARF. This scarf sits comfortably at the top of the scarf social hierarchy. It's easily the most popular, the one most often found around my neck. One of the reasons for this is that on the reverse it's grey, black and red, which goes very well with my black coat that's red under the collar. All hail the King of Scarves.

3 - THE CHAV. Bought in a market for a fiver, this fake Burberry scarf was one of my less-informed purchases. However, on the odd occasion I do feel brave enough to venture out wearing it, if I ignore the judgemental glances of my fellow commuters. You see, in the UK, the Burberry brand was hijacked by chavs. The wearing of such a cheap imitation Burberry scarf may convince other people, in more expensive and respectable scarves, that I'm going to steal their wallet and spend their hard-earned cash on cheap cider and cigarettes.

4 - THE ELDER SCARF. This is the oldest scarf in my collection. I've had it for about 10 years now. Every now and then I think of an item of clothing, pair it with a colour or pattern, then yearn for it obsessively until I find one exactly like what I'm imagining in a shop. I think it's magical, honestly. I have a gift. The green hoodie in the frog photo was one of these. Other instances of this include red converses and a blue and black horizontal striped jumper. This wonderful black and white scarf was another, and my desire was not misplaced. It has served me well through many a harsh winter, and will continue to do so.

5 - LA SCIARPA ITALIANA. No, it's not an expensive Italian silk scarf. It's a football scarf, which I purchased when I went to see Cagliari (the city I lived in) play Treviso. I bought the scarf before realising it was actually really short and wouldn't fit around my neck without serious risk of strangulation, so I ended up wearing it like this instead:

6 - THE MIGHTY FULHAM SCARF. On the subject of football scarves, here we have my new Fulham FC scarf, which was a Christmas present. I'm hoping that it's cold enough for me to warrant me wearing it on Monday night, when FFC meet Chelsea at Craven Cottage. We'll need all the help we can get. Come on you Whites!

7 - THE SURPRISE ENTRY. This was also a Christmas present. Apparently I asked for it, but I have no recollection of doing so, whatsoever. Not that I'm ungrateful, it's very nice and I shall wear it, I'm just worried that my addiction has started to take over my soul. Perhaps it's slowly eating away my free will, making me ask for scarves (or worse, steal them) and then making me forget all about having done so. Sly. This could get me in trouble...

Well, I hope you enjoyed this root around my wardrobe, and that it didn't bore you too much. If you ever get a cold neck, you know who to come to. HOWEVER, if you think my scarf collection is a bit over the top, take a look at my ties (and I don't even need to wear one to work):

There are over 20 here. And, again, there are some missing.

I (heart) Sleeping Till Eleven! (A TASG Production)

This vlog isn't nearly as wonderful as I hoped it would be.  I had all of these magnificent plans for it, but then I procrastinated/got sick.  So it's below the Lauren standard of excellance.  I apologize. 

Anyway, here is my take on national stereotypes:

Congratulations if you made it through the whole video.

See you next week!  :D

I (heart) TEA - A TASG Production

Me and Charles Darwin



Guys. My video is rubbish - I was balancing my computer on my knee so the screen is wobbly, I accidentally dazzle myself with a tiny torch which I then bang against the keyboard for the rest of the video (without realising that it would be picked up by the mic. I am that stupid). There's also a bit where my phone vibrates and it sounds like a fart. A fart it is not, I promise you.


I am sorry. You deserve better, and are used to higher standards. Allison's video was great - Lauren's a vlog wizard. I have let the team down.


That said, without further ado, I introduce myself, Tom 'The Brit' Read, speaking about British stereotypes.


Good luck. If you get through the whole thing, I owe you a cuppa. Or a pint.

I (heart) Maple Syrup! - A TASG Production

Okay guys - welcome to the most EMBARRASSING THING I HAVE EVER DONE ON THIS BLOG. So, we decided to make Vlogs this week about our national stereotypes. As you can see from our header, and our "About Us" section - the three of us are from three different countries. I'm known as The Canuck because I live in Canada. So yeah, I made a video and it's really cheesy.

1) I used Garage Band and iMovie to make it, and my new Canon digital camera. The music at the beginning is from Garage Band...it's so cheesy, but I kind of love it.

2) I suck at talking to cameras...so please don't mock the way I speak...I think I say "Candinadian" at one point.

3) I may never do this again.

I still have an embarrassing photo- because that's a tradition, so here that is...

Nothing to do with this post, but I just wanted to show off my
new T-shirt. It says "I <3 Jake Ryan."

Also, I blog a lot about Canada on my main blog My Quarter-life Crisis, here are some examples:

Toronto on the Big Screen

101 before 1001: Let's Toronto it Up

Canada is Cooler than You (Ontario Edition)

Oh! Canada! My Favourite Canadians!

The Best of the Last Three Months of 2010!

I know this blog has only been around for three months, BUT because it's New Year's week on The TASG blog I've decided to do a "Best of" type post! I'm a sucker for year-end "Best of" lists, as evidenced by my embarrassing photo for this week:

[Editor's Note: Tom's awesome post inspired me to add commentary to my choices]

Best Overall Post

Brit - A Carnival of Horrors - Tom, I really feel like you went out on a limb with this one. You were open, honest and witty about your relationship. I admire this post a lot. Good job!

Yank - Attack of the Yank - Lauren, you rocked your first post. It's funny and honest and oh so Lauren. I feel you gave our future readers a good overview of yourself.

Funniest Post

Brit - Ground, Swallow Me Up, ASAP! - This marks the first time genitalia is mentioned in a TASG post, recieving a xxx rating by the author himself. I love that you shared that oh so awkward tale with us Tom! Love you!

Yank - Maybe I Should Just Become a Nun - I believe I actually LOL'd when reading this post!

Best Title

Brit - Yesterday, All My Troubles Weren’t So Far Away, I was Just Too Drunks to Notice Them. - Wins for a clever use of a Beatles tune!

Yank - Party Don’t Start Till I Walk In (Tonight Anyways - Most Nights it Doesn’t Start at All) - I just think it's funny...and honest. We can't all be drunk bitches like Kei$ha partying 24/7. I'd go see Original Sound Trash before her any day!

Best Embarrassing Photo

Brit - Frog - This was hard - but I had to go with this sad frog. It's not easy being green, eh, Tom?

Yank - New Wave Teddy Bear - She grew hair and isn't she so cute? Baby Lauren for the win!

Hope you enjoyed that blast from the not-so-distant past! Happy New Year from The Canuck! When I post (here) next it will be 2011! Woo!

See ya Wednesday Tom!

Awkwaaaaard...

Ugh. I seem to have awkwardness down to a science.

I'm not kidding. Sometimes I think I'm just a walking awkward situation. Don't believe me? Here is a list of everything awkward that I have encountered THIS WEEKEND ALONE:

- I had a show and the guy that opened for me was on tons of drugs and kept giving me hugs while repeatedly telling me I looked lovely.

- My family came to the show and got to meet said opening act. He rambled incoherently and acted like he knows me well even though we've had approximately three conversations.

- The show started 45 minutes after it was supposed to because the opening act had to change the tubes in his amp before his set.

- My bandmate was late to the show, but his new girlfriend who I hadn't met yet came really early and awkwardly approached me.

- I wasn't really in the mood to deal with meeting my bandmate's new girlfriend, so I tactlessly ditched her with a couple of my old hippy friends (I live in a commune, remember?). They grilled her relentlessly about her relationship with my bandmate. She looked really uncomfortable but I found it hilarious.

- When the opening act finally started playing, he played for way too long and all of his songs sounded like drug-induced durges.

- There weren't many people in the audience, and at one point he came into the audience with his guitar, stood right in front of me, and serenaded me with a song about flowers. Note: my entire family is in the audience as well as some old friends from college. I kept accidentally looking over at people next to me and seeing them smirking. I felt extremely uncomfortable and it took every bit of self-control not to laugh.

- I did a set of solo songs before my band played. It would have been a lot better if I wasn't so nervous...and if my dress didn't start falling off in the middle of a song. I tried to play it off as a bad ass rock star thing, but both shoulders of the dress just kept slipping and it was reaching into dangerous territory. I ended up stopping the song, fixing my dress, then starting the song again, changing the lyrics to how I almost lost my dress. Fail.

- Afterwards, a couple of awkward boys told me the onstage wardrobe malfunction was the best part of the show. Double fail.

- I took a chance on playing a song I had written two days ago and promptly forgot some of the words.

- I had the following conversation with a random guy after my set:
Guy: "I really liked your show!"
Me: "Thanks!"
Guy: "It seemed like you were laughing at your own awkwardness the whole time and it was great! I almost love watching shows like that more than really cool shows!"
Me: "Thanks! Wait...was that a compliment?"
Guy: "Yes...I think so?"

- The restaurant owner came over to congratulate my bandmate and I after the show...but he really only talked to my bandmate. He only made eye contact with him and directed all of his "you rock" and "that was awesome" to him alone. It made us both feel a bit uncomfortable.

- I was going to go dancing with some friends from my commune last night, but somehow that turned into going to the dive bar down the street with a really random group of people: A 21-year-old dance instructor, a couple of late-twenty/early-thirty somethings, and an old hippy poet dude. One girl drank a little too much and told us a little too much information about her sex life.

- We attempted to play pool and it became obvious to everyone that I have only played pool about three times in my life.

- There was a girl in the corner wearing a dress that was four sizes too small for her. She was playing video poker with some dude in the corner and I'm not sure what was more awkward - the fact that she dressed like that to go to that nasty pub or the fact that we were all staring at her and making fun of her within ear shot.

- Eventually, we left the bar and walked back home. It was late but we were all still wide awake. The girl who had told us about her sex life went to go smoke a joint with this guy from Syracuse (he invited all of us but she was the only one that wanted to). Mr. Syracuse's girlfriend lives next door to me and is out of town for the week. Old Hippy Poet and I drank tea in the kitchen, waiting for the girl to stumble in and provide us with more entertainment (we figured that Mr. Syracuse would kick her out after a few minutes). But after a half an hour of talking about the meaning of life, there was still no sign of Mr. Syracuse and the girl.

- So we decided to go check on them. After awkwardly lurking by the door for a couple of minutes, we knocked and went in. They were just sitting there listening to The Black Keys. And when we entered the room, it went dead silent.

- Old Hippy Poet made a graceful exit but I missed my cue and was still in the room. I talked to them for a minute, then awkwardly announced that I was "really going to bed this time, guys" and left.

- My Internet went down for a little bit and then I discovered that The Transatlantic Support Group had proclaimed me missing. Ack. Sorry guys. I'm alive! Alive and perpetually awkward. FML.

Okay, that's all I have for now. It doesn't really beat Tom and Allison's epic awkward stories, but hopefully it was semi-amusing...

Here is a picture of me blogging in a coffee shop so the whole world can see I'm blogging!

That's all.

*scuttles away*

Ground, Swallow Me Up. ASAP.

I'm no stranger to an awkward situation, which is largely my fault. I have an uncanny knack of making even the most simple conversations problematic - a problem which is exemplified if I have to queue before said social interaction takes place.

Take a recent trip to the cinema, for example. When asked if I'd prefer cheese or salsa with my nachos, I replied;

"Erm...God. Erm...well cheese. No salsa. Erm wow. Decision. Salsa. Go with salsa. NO, CHEESE!"

I had salsa, in the end, and I could sense the girl behind the counter thought I was a complete twonk. Little did she know, there was more to come! Yes, the idiot only went and asked me if I wanted a receipt. You'd think, judging by my less than skilful handling of the above conversation, that she'd avoid any more questions that required a decision being made. But she didn't - she went there anyway - and so we were both stuck in an infuriating loop while I to'd and fro'd between having a receipt or leaving without one. I took the receipt, and threw it in the bin outside.

Suffice it to say, I now go to a different cinema; although this hasn't solved my problem. Wherever I may go, whatever decision I may be expected to make, I can make it awkward and unecessarily difficult. As I was leaving a music festival two years ago with N and my brother, a steward asked if we were on our way home.

N said yes. Ever honest and polite.

My brother said no. Deceit is his problem, I think.

I stopped dead in my tracks, like a rabbit caught in headlights and stared back like she'd asked me to solve a complex riddle.

But anyway, this post should be about awkward situations I've found myself in - of which there are many. There's one I've blogged about before. I'd had too much to drink, and fallen over on the dance floor of a club. A bouncer came over and asked me to step outside (in other words: call a cab, you're going home). On the way off the dance floor, however, I grabbed his hand, and held it tight while we weaved through the crowd. I didn't realise I was doing this, until he turned around and told me I didn't really have to hold his hand. I longed for the ground to swallow me up. It didn't. He did, however, say, "Well there's obviously no harm in you - have a good night" and let me stay. So it's not all bad.

For my finale, I'll stick to my most awkward and embarrassing one. Please don't read in the presence of children or before 9pm.

Last Boxing Day (the day after Christmas) I stayed at my aunt's house and slept on my cousin's floor. The next morning, with a head heavy with hangover, I woke to the sound of my cousin complaining about the aftermath of her drinking adventures the night before. All of a sudden, my stomach lurched. I was going to be sick. I knew it. I could feel it. I was hot and uncomfortable and on the verge of vomiting all over her bedroom, so I jumped up and went to run for the door. If only I'd been in less of a rush. You see, I'd taken my jeans off and well...erm...the fly of my boxers was open and I basically flashed my cousin. We're not that close for something like this to happen and not be mentioned. I was humiliated, but nonetheless ran to the toilet to be sick anyway.

This is the most awkward moment I can recall at the moment. I mean how do you have breakfast with your cousin and extended family after accidentally baring all? I will not hear the end of this. Not for the rest of my life.

I'm not a pervert, honest (and if that sign-off isn't awkard, I don't know what is). Lauren, take the limelight away from me - I'm ashamed.

I'll Leave You Alone Forever Now

Hey...so...would you guys, you know...loyal followers...want to, I dunno...have coffee with me sometime? Um, yeah...you don't have to. I understand if you don't. Urgh, you know what, forget that I asked. I'm so dumb. You wouldn't want to...

Okay, I'll leave you alone forever now.

IT'S AWKWARD MOMENTS WEEK ON THE TRANSATLANTIC SUPPORT GROUP!

We've all had these moments, and unfortunately mine have mostly come from awkward encounters with boys and men. When it comes to liking someone who you aren't 100% sure about it can be hard to break the ice and ask them out. I've been on both sides of the awkward fence.

I'll give you two examples. One where I was awkwardly asked out, and one where I awkwardly tried to ask someone out. Both were, um, really embarrassingly pathetic. 

EXAMPLE A: Nerdy mall security guard is nice enough to talk to, but 18-year-old jewellery kiosk employee really wants the guy who works at the record store.

One evening kiosk employee forgets something in the mall, and has to return at close. Nerdy is there, and is quite awkward when he approaches her to tell her he thinks she's really great, and interesting, and nice to talk to...blah blah blah...and asks her to go out with him sometime.

Kiosk girl wants to say no, but doesn't want feelings to be hurt, since she knows she'll see Nerdy often. So she says, "I'll think about it, okay?" and leaves.

Next shift where they're both working, Nerdy approaches,"So, have you thought about it?" Kiosk girl feels awful, but has to let him down easy.

Now, that is awkward!

EXAMPLE B: Kiosk girl is now a Barista at a cafe and her favourite customer (at the time) is a animator who sits in her store and draws for hours with his medium coffee, in a mug.

[Sidenote: You may remember him as Cartoon Boy from the relationships post.]

Cartoon Boy is older, but is back in school to study animation. His dream is to work for Disney! He is very chatty and very friendly, and was extremely sympathetic to the Barista when she was laid off from her "real job" as an editorial assistant. 

During his reading week (a week off for college/university students) he comes in, and the Barista's hands get shaky. She tries to use his week off as an excuse to hangout with him outside of work.

"Um, so yeah, if you're free this week....let me know...if you want to get coffee or something."

This awkward statement is misunderstood as an invitation to come back to the cafe for coffee.

He leaves and nothing comes of it. He then moves away to Sudbury, Ontario.

Damn, that's awkward.

Anyways, it's also extremely uncomfortable to run into people from high school. It happens to me a lot because I live in the city where I went to high school. At the mall, at work, at the bar, at social gatherings, you name it - they will find you and remind you that you're a failure! Sometimes you just don't want to deal with it, so here are three ways to avoid talking to these people:

1. Pretend you're on the phone.

2. Hide behind a book or magazine.

3. Fashion a clever disguise.

I hope this post didn't make you feel too awkward.

Hey, Tom? Do you want to maybe, I dunno, write a post about...you know, awkward moments? It's okay if you don't want to, I totally understand.

But if you do, would you be able to post it on Wednesday? I totally get it if you're busy and don't want to or think this is dumb. God, I'm such an idiot...

Anyways, I'll see you Wednesday Tom! 

Great post last week Lauren, I want some nachos now!

Ms Potato Head's Kitchen

Let's just get the embarrassing photo out of the way.

This week the TASG is talking about our favourite comfort foods, and for me, the timing is perfect for this topic because:

A) I eat when I’m stressed.

B) It’s getting cold up here in Canada!

I can’t speak for Tom and Lauren, as they will share their own stories Wednesday and Friday, but I can tell you that I actually really like cooking.

What?

Yeah, I love to cook.

WTF?

Okay, so I don’t really like just making dinner or whatever, but I do, on occasion, like to make a nice meal - and I’m pretty good at it (I think). I get a lot of my favourite recipes from magazines and such. One of my favourites is a potato and leek soup recipe - perfect for a cold evening.

I freakin’ love potatoes! Seriously...I will eat potato anything. Baked potatoes, mashed, fried, scalloped, potato salad, boiled, hash browns...I could go on, and on. I am very Irish when it comes to the potato! (I’m only like 1/4 Irish...I think...maybe more...but it counts...it certainly counts on St. Paddy’s Day). Potatoes just bring me joy - and that is why this soup is one of my favourite comfort foods.

Allison, what do I need to make this at home?

Leeks next to some delicious bacon

Easy, here are the ingredients:

1/2 cup chopped bacon (mmm...bacon)
1 cup chopped leeks - white + light green part only
3 cups of peeled, diced potatoes (mmm)
1/2 tsp each salt & pepper
1 cup of dry white wine (mmm)
3 cups of chicken broth
1/2 cup of sour cream
1/2 cup of chopped chives

How do I make this delicious comfort food Allison?:

• Cook bacon in large, heavy sauce pan on medium-high - stir often untl crispy (approx. 6 mins)
• Remove using slotted spoon and save it as a garnish and drain all but a tbsp of fat from the pan.
• Add leeks and cook until soft.
• Add potatoes, salt & pepper (stir)
• Add wine and cook until reduced by half.
• Pour in chicken broth and reduce heat to simmer until the potatoes are very tender (15 mins).
• Blend using a hand mixer.
• Stir in sour cream
• Serve w/ bacon and chives on top (I’ve also used grated chedder).

Simmer down now!

Also, I’ve made this recipe for a vegetarian friend before. I just removed the bacon, used olive oil instead of bacon fat to cook the leeks, and vegetable broth instead of chicken. It pretty much didn’t change the flavour.

Finished product!

Oh, and totally drink the rest of the wine.

Other comfort foods and drinks for me are:

• Hot chocolate
• Tea
• That cheesy salsa dip by Tostitos - microwave that shit...it’s delicious with tortilla chips.
• Guacamole!
• Peanut butter (toast, bread, on a spoon from the jar).
• Chocolate
• Cookies
• Cake
• Wine
• Gin
• Sweet potato fries
• Butter tarts (I just learned that these are a Canadian invention).
• Wow...this is starting to sound like my guilty pleasures post.



Anyways, I made this for dinner on Sunday and it was amazing.

After dinner I played some darts in my basement by myself.

Blurry cellphone picture of me practicing darts for Quiz Night.

Okay Tom - comfort food(s)...Go!

Lauren's Embarrassing List Of Guilty Pleasures

Okay, here we go.  THIS should be a fun post.  I think half of the things I like could probably considered guilty pleasures.  There are even some things that I should be ashamed of that I have loved for so long I no longer feel any guilt (i.e: Lady Gaga, reruns of "Sabrina the Teenage Witch," 90's eurodance, etc.). 

But anyway, I'm going to attempt to boil this down into a cute little list.

I'll call this list "Lauren's Embarrassing List Of Guilty Pleasures."  The list will begin at this time:

*drum roll*

LAUREN'S EMBARRASSING LIST OF GUILTY PLEASURES
(in no particular order)

- Reality Television.  It's trashy, predictable, and an overall train wreck - but I can't look away. 

- The "Twilight" Movies.  These are possibly the worst films ever made, but something about them draws me in.  I make fun of them the whole time I'm watching them, of course, but the whole time I am secretly fascinated by the whole werewolf-vampire-human love triangle.  CONFESSION:  Somehow, I ended up with tickets to an exclusive pre-show of "New Moon."  A friend and I told everyone we were going to a rock show and snuck off to go watch "Twilight" in a room full of pre-teen girls and their mothers.  ANOTHER CONFESSION:  I have been to Forks, Washington.  I was on my way to Canada, but there were other routes I could have taken.  I went to Forks on purpose.

- t.A.T.u.  Remember those Russian lesbians that did that song "All The Things She Said" when we were all in middle school?  I never did take them off of my iPod... 

- The Black Eyed Peas.  With lyrics as simplistic and stupid as "let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's dooooo it," I'm a little ashamed to say that The B.E.P.'s are one of my favorite things to jam out to in my car.  CONFESSION:  I secretly wish I was Fergie. ANOTHER CONFESSION:  I know all of the words to "Imma Be."

- Trashy late night advice talk shows on the radio.  My favorite radio station recently changed it's programming schedule and "Loveline with Doctor Drew" is no longer on weeknights at 11.  Discovering this shouldn't have made me as sad as it did. 

- The Food Network.  I don't cook, but I love watching other people cook. 

- Eating peanut butter with a spoon.  Out of the jar, naturally.  It's disgusting and I know it, but it's something that occasionally happens anyway (usually late at night).

- B-rated horror movies.  Actually, I've loved these kinds of movies for so long that I no longer really feel shame, but I thought it was worth mentioning.  CONFESSION:  My shelf of DVDs has two layers to it.  The outer layer is all the Wes Anderson films and things I feel as though I am allowed to like as a sophisticated film geek and a pseudo-hipster.  The inner layer is mostly b movie crap.  "Bela Lagose Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla," anyone?  Don't tell my hipster friends.

I feel as though I could make this list go on for a very long time but I am going to stop.  I think I have embarrassed myself enough for one week...

*scuttles away* 

I only play computer games sometimes. Honest.

The fact that this post is going to be so easy for me to write says something very important about the ways in which I choose to pass the time. Thinking about it, it would be a lot harder for me to think of something I like to do that's actually respectable, hip and down with the kids if you will, rather than a guilty pleasure (of which I have hundreds, it seems). Like Allison mentioned on Monday; now that I've left the mind-boggling gauntlet of judgement and prejudice that is school, I really couldn't care less about how my hobbies rate on the Scale of Cool. Dare I say that I've embraced geekdom? Yes, I've given in.

For the purpose of keeping this post a reasonable length, I'll choose my most embarrassing obsession; The Sims.

Yes - there's nothing I like more than guiding my virtual flock through the trials and tribulations of their simulated lives. I take good care of them, I do. They have fantastic clothes, great names, a dream house and never fail to succeed at whatever they choose to do [read: whatever I instruct them to do]. And therein, I think, lies the fascination for me. In their world I am all-powerful. A kind and just ruler of the universe they inhabit.

I could go further; not only do I revel in building a dynasty of stunningly successful, superbly named computerfolk, I also grow slightly envious of the carefree lives they lead.

Who wouldn't want a job that guarantees promotion if you work hard and keep people happy? Where boss' relatives and friends of friends don't start their careers with a built-in advantage. Who wouldn't kill for a real-life cheat that pops fifty grand into your bank account everytime you find yourself running low on funds? Or a button to press that will convince that faraway friend you never quite get round to calling that you honestly do still like them. This is how life show be, except, of course, that life should also be real.

I don't think I'm in any real danger of falling out of love with reality and finding myself unable to leave the glorious existence I've created for my sims. Real life is too much fun - at least it can be. But every now and then I wonder what it would be like never to have to make a decision, never to worry, never to fear the consequences of one's actions. And then I begin to wonder if I am, in fact, a tiny pawn in an incredibly complex version of the same game. And then I realise I've been up far too long and need to go to bed.

Or has my creator just right-clicked 'Sleep Until Fully Rested'?

Stop it Tom, seriously. And hang your head in your guilty pleasure shame.

Here I am with a selection of my guilty pleasures. Risha - please note fake Burberry scarf from my less sophisticated days. Everyone - please don't judge me too harshly.

I'm Not Guilty!

This week The TASG is writing about our guilty pleasures.

The thing about guilty pleasures is that they aren’t things we necessarily feel guilt over, but more shame and embarrassment. So really, these are our shameful pleasures - but that sounds naughty, so we’ll stick with guilty.

Usually guilty pleasures are associated with pop culture and hobbies that are generally regarded as uncool. I’m pretty much okay with being uncool for the most part - it’s part of my charm. High School’s over! I can embrace my strangeness!

Since I like making lists, I’m going to make some TOP 5 lists:

TOP 5 GUILTY PLEASURE SONGS:

1. All Out of Love by Air Supply - I downloaded this because of a scene in this short-lived Canadian television series called JPod. The scene involves drunken karaoke and viral video.

2. Rasputin by Boney M - I remember a girl in high school used this song in history class for a project on Rasputin. Nothing beats campy dance music.

3. I Need You Now by Lady Antebellum - I like this overplayed, country-ish, pop song.

4. Pokerface by Lady GaGa - Lady GaGa frightens me, mostly because she reminds me of a cartoon villian. She just doesn’t seem real. But damn, this song is catchy.

Listening to GaGa...shhh.

5. My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors by Moxy Fruvous - Cheesy early 90s Canadian pop! This song is a about me, I swear.


TOP 5 GUILTY PLEASURE FILMS:

1. A Walk to Remember - Mandy Moore, Shane West, a dying girl, a bad boy. This is one of those movies you pretend to hate in mixed company, but you secretly love.

2. Just Like Heaven - Reece Witherspoon is a ghost in limbo (sorta) and Mark Ruffalo is a drunk widow. So natural they fall in love. Don’t judge me!

3. 13 Going on 30 - Another Mark Ruffalo, only this time he’s paired with Jennifer Garner. A 13 year old girl wishes she was 30, and it happens.

Hugh Grant is so delightful.

4. Notting Hill - Hugh Grant! Julia Roberts! Yes please. A famous American actress meets a bumbling awkward Brit and they fall in love. Also, his roomate Spike kills me with his “Fancy a Fuck?” t-shirt.

5. Peter Pan - One of my favourite Disney movies. I have this one on VHS and DVD. "Think of a wonderful thought! Any happy little thought!..."

TOP 5 MISCELLANEOUS GUILTY PLEASURES:

1. YouTube Vlogs - My life is boring, this is why I need people on YouTube to tell me about theirs.

2. Online Shopping - I feel like my mail carrier is judging me each time he sticks an Amazon.ca box between my doors. Or an envelope from an Etsy seller.

3. Chocolate - I may have eaten a hand full of chocolate chips straight from the bag more than once.

4. The Blogosphere - I talked about this in my Real Life vs. Blog Life post, but I don’t really talk about my blog much in real life. But I have a morning routine. I wake up, take a shower, make a cup of tea, sit with my laptop and check my email, facebook, and sometimes YouTube, then I check my blogroll. I go through all the newly posted blogs, and even go back to some I skimmed or skipped before.

Gossiping

5. Gossiping - It’s not nice to be talked about - but let’s face it, it happens. It’s harmless if they don’t know about it. I think a good rant and rave is perfectly healthy, just as long as you’re not directly hurting someone, right? I’m not talking about celebrity gossip (I’ve freed my mind of that stuff). So it’s bad to admit, but I enjoy gossiping. There I said it.

Okay, so let the mocking begin!

And, also, do me a favour and check out Lauren’s post from Friday - it’s really funny.

See you Wednesday Tom!