Thanks a Latte!

Hello ladies and gents! We made it flawlessly through our first week back to this blog. Can we repeat last week's perfection? I sure hope so!

I am pretty much responsible for this week's topic. You see, as the Canuck, I get to share with you all my world view and my countries traditions and national holidays. Today is Canadian thanksgiving! I had my turkey last night and it was delicious...so delicious that I nearly died. So full!

Anyways, this week's topic is "Things I am Thankful For."

The Obvious

My Family

I am obviously thankful that I have supportive, semi-cool parents who listen to rock and roll and don't smoke or litter. They have tolerated me in my failure to launch - and we get along a bit better lately than before. My dad likes to watch HBO with me on Sunday nights and my mom and I listen to Florence + The Machine and Feist in the car. I don't starve to death because of my parents. My brother is cool too - a bit of a jock, but whatever. We are total opposites but we have some common interests. I am also fairly close with my aunts, uncles and cousins. 

My Friends

I'm weird and I have tiny little factions of people I call friends spread out all over. Most of the factions never intersect and this means I don't see all of the friends all of the time. But each group serves an important purpose in my life. To make me laugh, to remind me of simpler times, to support me when times are tough, to listen when I just need to talk. I have people who will gladly drink pints on patios with me all night long, I have friends who will get ice cream with me and walk by the lake as if we were on a date, friends who will do my nails for me and tell me if my outfit looks good. I have guy friends who offer me a different, and sometimes disgusting, perspective on things. I'm thankful for each and every one of them!

Food, Water, Shelter...

I'm thankful I get to eat fresh, healthy food daily and I don't have to beg for it. I have taps that give me fresh water to drink and shower in. I have a roof over my head, a bed, clothes. Basically I have all the necessities in life plus plenty of luxuries.

*cough* I'm lame *cough*...my boyfriend

Don't worry, I won't get sappy here. But he is someone I should be thankful for. He tolerates my insanity when I text him and he doesn't text me back and I freak out and think he's ignoring me - that means something, right? Truthfully I was content, for the most part, with my simple, uncomplicated single life, but somethings are worth the stress and complication. 

Oh, and I'm thankful for his British accent :)

Not as Obvious

My Education

My education is something that has caused me a lot of stress, and given me few rewards but I must remind myself that I am lucky to have had that experience. Not everyone is in the position to do what I got to do, so I am thankful for the enlightenment. My four years in university really helped me grow and mature as a person.

Music

While I CAN technically live without it, I can't imagine my life without music. My relationship with music isn't the same as Lauren's - I don't create music - but I do surround myself with it. 

Arts and Crafts

My whole life has been about art. Painting was always my favourite thing to do in pre-school. I can't imagine a world without art and homemade things.

~

Anyways, I think that's all I can think of for today...I'm sure I'm thankful for a lot more. Actually, I'm thankful that I "met" Tom and Lauren and that we get to share our crazy lives with one another though this blog and our personal blogs.

Thank you for reading!

I'm thankful for friends who have birthdays so I have an
excuse for photos such as this.

Putting Away My Summer Clothes

So cold!

Welcome back to The Transatlantic Support Group! We took the summer off to chill out and not feel the pressure to blog weekly for a bit, but as the cold weather rolls in so do we. Blogging is really an indoorsy activity, so it only make sense.

We started this blog around this time last year because there's just something about fall that makes 20-somethings a bit sad. Maybe we miss the back-to-school feeling. As students we got so used to major changes happening this time of year. New classes, new people, that we're let down when autumn is just a colder, sadder version of summer.

But let's not start out a new TASG season all depressed - let's reminisce. Let's talk about our summers.

WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACATION

by The Canuck

• I went to England in May

• I got into a relationship that was long-distance for most of the summer. Scary, but good. I am officially an insane version of myself!

• Had a lot of cold pints on patios with amazing people.

• I listened to new music from bands I love and bands I've just discovered.

• I saw a few movies: Bridesmaids, Bad Teacher and Harry Potter (3D!)

• I saw the musical adaptation of Billy Elliot with my mom and two of my aunts.

• I ran my first 5k race and ran my second 5k charity fun run.

• I met up with old friends from years ago.

• I visited my university for the first time since graduating in 2007.

• I went to the driving range.

• I threw a goodbye party for a friend who left for college.

• I took plenty of naps.

• I learned to enjoy mornings and wake up earlier.

• I nearly gave up coffee, but still have the occasional cup at work, but only in the morning.

I'm sure I did more than that, but that's just a quick re-cap. It wasn't the best summer ever, but certainly not the worst.

Hope you all had amazing summers - or at least not the worst.

Tom - Mr. Wednesday, I can't wait to here from you love! (I'm dating a fellow Brit, so I'm allowed to talk like that now, right?)

I Miss My Old Life (Sometimes)

It’s Monday! That means a new week and a new theme for the TASG. This week we’re all writing about friendships and current social lives.

I had this list planned, with categories and possibly a chart, but I've decided to just write...you know, from the heart and stuff.

On Monday nights I sit in a cozy English pub with friends and acquaintances and play trivia. This is something I did a bit of in the my early 20s, but life changes and new social opportunities replaced this ritual for awhile, but now I’m back at it.

I sit with people I used to consider close friends, but I walked away - I hid in different bars and pubs, met new people, tried new things. But sometimes sitting with these people just feels right.

I miss my old life sometimes.

I am good at being friends with boys. I was one of the guys, or at least that’s what I started out as. And I’ve since realized that being one of the guys was my favourite social role. No sexual implications, just friendship of the plutonic sort! I messed with this delicate system that worked so well for so long, and I had to back off. But, now I’ve been replaced by other girls - other girls who are one of the guys. And while I try to reminisce about old times, I can’t help but feel like I’m using a visitors pass for a club I used to be a member of. I miss that certainty. The certainty that I would have something fun to do most days of the week.

Now, all my friends are scattered. Some are in serious, long-term relationships that take precedent over friends (especially single friends). Some have moved for work. Some have a new group of friends as well. Some are still in school and busy with that. Some work all the time. And some are willing to let me play trivia with them on Monday nights at the pub.

I have my friends I met through work - and I’m grateful for them. Without that in my life I’d surely go mad from boredom. However, I do sometimes feel old when hanging out with that group. I’m the oldest (at least of the girls) and sometimes I feel like I’m just re-doing my early 20s because I spent mine being stressed over school. I never partied really - so I feel like I’m making up for that. But somedays it feels like I’m trying too hard to fit in with them kids!

God, I miss my old life sometimes.

So when I’m at the pub, on Monday nights, I feel better because I’m with my peers. I’m with people I went to high school with. I’m with people my age. I’m with people who don’t think I’m old. But it can’t be like how it was years ago. We've all grown up. We've all changed.

My social life is a mixed bag of things. I chat with my out-of-town friends online and through Facebook and texts. I try to plan and organize gatherings and events. I invite people to movies, concerts, shows, nights out on the town. Sometimes they come, sometimes they don’t. Sometime I put my pajamas on at 9 P.M. on a Saturday night and watch TV on DVD till my eyes cross.

So, while I have a few life-long friends, it doesn’t mean my calendar is full all the time. And you know what? That's fine with me.

Tune in Wednesday for my internet friend Tom’s take on friends and social gatherings!

And come back Friday (or Saturday...or Sunday) to read Lauren's!

We've actually got the whole month of December planned for this blog - which is rare for us, as we usually plan our themes last minute. Also, if there are any topics you'd like to suggest, please leave them in the comments!

I'll Leave You Alone Forever Now

Hey...so...would you guys, you know...loyal followers...want to, I dunno...have coffee with me sometime? Um, yeah...you don't have to. I understand if you don't. Urgh, you know what, forget that I asked. I'm so dumb. You wouldn't want to...

Okay, I'll leave you alone forever now.

IT'S AWKWARD MOMENTS WEEK ON THE TRANSATLANTIC SUPPORT GROUP!

We've all had these moments, and unfortunately mine have mostly come from awkward encounters with boys and men. When it comes to liking someone who you aren't 100% sure about it can be hard to break the ice and ask them out. I've been on both sides of the awkward fence.

I'll give you two examples. One where I was awkwardly asked out, and one where I awkwardly tried to ask someone out. Both were, um, really embarrassingly pathetic. 

EXAMPLE A: Nerdy mall security guard is nice enough to talk to, but 18-year-old jewellery kiosk employee really wants the guy who works at the record store.

One evening kiosk employee forgets something in the mall, and has to return at close. Nerdy is there, and is quite awkward when he approaches her to tell her he thinks she's really great, and interesting, and nice to talk to...blah blah blah...and asks her to go out with him sometime.

Kiosk girl wants to say no, but doesn't want feelings to be hurt, since she knows she'll see Nerdy often. So she says, "I'll think about it, okay?" and leaves.

Next shift where they're both working, Nerdy approaches,"So, have you thought about it?" Kiosk girl feels awful, but has to let him down easy.

Now, that is awkward!

EXAMPLE B: Kiosk girl is now a Barista at a cafe and her favourite customer (at the time) is a animator who sits in her store and draws for hours with his medium coffee, in a mug.

[Sidenote: You may remember him as Cartoon Boy from the relationships post.]

Cartoon Boy is older, but is back in school to study animation. His dream is to work for Disney! He is very chatty and very friendly, and was extremely sympathetic to the Barista when she was laid off from her "real job" as an editorial assistant. 

During his reading week (a week off for college/university students) he comes in, and the Barista's hands get shaky. She tries to use his week off as an excuse to hangout with him outside of work.

"Um, so yeah, if you're free this week....let me know...if you want to get coffee or something."

This awkward statement is misunderstood as an invitation to come back to the cafe for coffee.

He leaves and nothing comes of it. He then moves away to Sudbury, Ontario.

Damn, that's awkward.

Anyways, it's also extremely uncomfortable to run into people from high school. It happens to me a lot because I live in the city where I went to high school. At the mall, at work, at the bar, at social gatherings, you name it - they will find you and remind you that you're a failure! Sometimes you just don't want to deal with it, so here are three ways to avoid talking to these people:

1. Pretend you're on the phone.

2. Hide behind a book or magazine.

3. Fashion a clever disguise.

I hope this post didn't make you feel too awkward.

Hey, Tom? Do you want to maybe, I dunno, write a post about...you know, awkward moments? It's okay if you don't want to, I totally understand.

But if you do, would you be able to post it on Wednesday? I totally get it if you're busy and don't want to or think this is dumb. God, I'm such an idiot...

Anyways, I'll see you Wednesday Tom! 

Great post last week Lauren, I want some nachos now!

Maybe I Should Just Be A Nun...

It's taken me forever to write this post. I think I'm the one that came up with this topic in the first place, but it's proven fairly difficult to write about. I don't want to come off as too bitchy, too whiny, or too psycho-feministy. I apologize in advance for the cynical word vomit you are about to read.

I think I've spent a long time wondering if there's something wrong with me because I can't seem to maintain a healthy, functional relationship of the romantic variety. But lately I've begin to think that there's just something wrong with them. Or maybe I'm just only attracted to men that are emotionally unstable (and potentially homosexual).

Really, I think the next time I go on a date, I'm going to hand him an application. I'll let him buy me dinner and I'll eat it while he fills it out. Then I'll conduct an interview over the remainder of dinner. The date will end, I'll contact a few of his references and review his application, then either send him a flirtatious text message to keep things going or delete him from my phone entirely. Sounds like a fantastic way to stream line things, doesn't it?

I think part of my application might look a little bit like this:

Check all that apply:

- I live with my mother.
- I have a bossy sister who controls my life.
- I'm a recovered porn addict who is now a religious fanatic.
- I have a girlfriend that God told me to marry, but I'd rather not tell you and spend several weeks leading you on.
- I don't like to touch girls.
- I'm only going to call you when I'm involved in a social situation that requires me to have a girlfriend.
- I'm Pentecostal.
- One time, I tried to start my own cult.
- I'm going to act like I'm completely not interested in you and then years after you've moved on I'm going to get drunk and tell you how attracted I am to you.
- Sometimes when I go out to eat, I keep the menu in my hand while I'm shovelling food into my mouth just in case I want to order more food.
- I think it's okay to call you my "gal pal."
- I'm on a cosmic quest to find the "anti-soma" and do a lot of "science experiments" in my room.
- I don't know you exist.
- I will make you feel terrible for never going to church.
- I'm gay.
- I liked X-Men 3.
- I'm going to let you fall completely in love with me, then totally distance myself from you. Then when we finally break up, I'm going to blatantly remind you that we're never getting back together every time you slip up and contact me.
- I'm going to try to be the drummer for your band, but all I really want to play is "Don't Stop Believin."
- I'm not interested in you at all, but I will constantly tell you how hot your friends are.
- I look really good in women's clothing.
- I can't dance.
- I'm always going to make you listen to loud Scandinavian metal in my car.
- I'll make you watch geeky science fiction movies and then leave right when they're over.
- I'll say I'm making you a nice dinner and then cook instant mashed potatoes with a side of Hamburger Helper.
- I haven't cleaned my bathroom since 2006.
- Whenever I go to a sandwich shop, I eat a lot of pickles and then I don't brush my teeth afterwards.
- I'm obsessed with myself.
- I 'd rather hang out with my friends on a Friday night than hang out with you. You can join us though. It's only a group of like 20 million generic, uninteresting people that enjoy having bland, surface-level conversations while drinking Mountain Dew and playing Rock Band.
- I will never understand your music.
- I won't understand your writing either.
- I won't read your blog, but you can read mine.
- When you text me late at night because you're lonely, I'll tell you I need to sleep.
- When you open up to me about stuff that's been going on in your head, I'll politely listen, but then I'll tell you to leave so I can get eight hours of sleep.
- I'll let my hair grow into obnoxious, mullet-esque lengths.
- I'll guilt-trip you into going to my awkward family reunions.
- I'll make you go camping even though I know you hate camping.
- For Christmas, I'll burn you DVDs of pirated TV shows that won't work on your DVD player.
- I'll write you a song...about transvestites.
- I'll whine about my job all of the time even though you're unemployed.
- I'm just an asshole in general.

Um...yeah, that theoretical application is not based on personal experience at all.

Okay, it totally is.

On second thought, I think I'm going to scrap the whole dating application idea and just NOT DATE. Maybe be a nun. Or maybe just a really bad ass independent chick who doesn't need a man.

After all, if the rock star thing works out, having a boyfriend (serious or otherwise) will only get in the way.

And I'm still recovering from the latest relationship fiasco. Dated him for almost a year, which is both a long time and not a long time simultaneously. Broke up a couple months ago. It was a mutual break-up, but he kind of evolved into a cold-hearted jerk after that. I had let myself become wrapped up in the idea that we would be together for a long time, so when he was "just not feeling the same way about you anymore, sorry" two weeks after the break-up, it was a little devastating. But it's no use being all hung-up over it. Being single really isn't that bad most of the time. Actually, it's a little bit liberating.

The good thing about having terrible luck with men is that I have an infinite amount of sitcom material and songwriting inspiration. Some of my best songs have been written in response to stupid boys being, well, stupid. Lyrics inspired by said boys include:


"Think I'm working over time trying to make you happy/ But all you do is whine/ Then get all weird and sappy."

"There's something wrong with you/ Don't try to give me an excuse/ Or sit and yell at me/ I do not want to hear it anymore!"

"I am an iceberg/ I am a glacier/ you are a green house gas and you're eating/ through the ozone layer/ so now I am melting."


"I'm not your mannequin! You're not my man!"

These are all pretty great songs, so I really should thank those stupid boys for being so stupid.

Unfortunately, the one love song in my band's repertoire was written for my most recent ex-boyfriend. It was a crowd favorite, but it's permanently off the set list because I cannot sing the lyrics "Night turns into day/ and you still haven't gone away" without becoming a little bit like Adam Sandler in "The Wedding Singer" when he sings the song he wrote for his ex-girlfriend (I'm sure you know the scene, it's kind of infamous).

Anyway, that's all I've got for this week. I should stop before I get completely bitter and bitchy. As hard as it was to write about this topic, it felt pretty good to throw all of that out there. Hopefully it even made you laugh a little bit. I'm laughing as I'm rereading this mess.

Ah, boys! Why must you be so dumb?

Oh well. I've got myself. That's all I really need in this crazy world, right?

With that, I shall say "farewell." Happy Friday, friends!

Time to hide behind ye olde pillow...

A Carnival of Horrors

I was in an incredibly bad mood last night, so I've woken up early to write this post as I didn't want to depress you - or come across like a bitter and raving old grump. That said, it is ridiculously early so if this makes no sense, you know why.

As Allison has already explained, this week we're tackling the thorny topic that is relationships. I'll be writing about this from the in-a-relationship side of the fence, but I have no wish to appear smug or patronising. This will be no tale of candle-lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach or chocolates on Valentine's Day. Far from it, in fact.

Relationships change you, or at least they've changed me. Sometimes the change is for the good, at others it's the opposite. The transformations I've been through so far have been wild and unpredictable, and that's what I'd like to talk about. I ask you prepare yourselves as I'm about to introduce you to a carnival of horrors, a procession of the nightmarish personalities known collectively as Tom In A Relationship.

Actually, before I unveil them, let me say this; I was 20 when I entered into the relationship I'm in now. What's more, it was supposed to be a one-night stand. Don't judge me - the expectation was the same on both sides, and I was about to move to Italy for a year. Ideal ground for sowing the seeds of a relationship it was not. Anyway, Tom, stop putting this off.

Tom the Hypocrite: as mentioned above, a month after meeting my significant other, I moved to Italy. It became a long-distance relationship before it had had the time to become a long-term one. This separation paved the way for the release of one of the most hideous elements of my character. Poor N would go for a night out with friends and be inundated with bitter, shitty little texts from yours trully. 'Where are you?' 'Who's there?' 'Bollocks! who is really there and where are you, really?' Oh the shame. But that's not the worst of it, despite the above, I would fly off the handle if I ever received anything similar. "Stop suffocating me. I'm trying to enjoy myself. I'm allowed out whenever I want. OH MY GOD GET OUT OF MY FACE!" Remembering this actually makes me feel awful. In this instance, I blame my age. Honestly, I was incredibly immature and completely unprepared for a relationship. I'd hope that I've improved somewhat since.

Tom the Green-eyed Monster: as the above suggests, the younger Tom was prone to regular bouts of insane jealousy. When Jealous Mode was activated, I had the power to remember passwords for email accounts, for facebook, passcodes for mobile phones, and would spend hours ferretting out information on misdeeds or inappropriate conversations. I was a detective, immersing myself in correspondence that was not meant for my eyes. Or an archaeologist, scraping away the present to reveal hidden secrets from the past. I was insatiable, and infuriating. This ridiculous behaviour ('scratching' as it came to be called) continued for a long time before I was stuck with an epiphany that didn't kill the evil green-eyed monster, but has succeeded in burying it underground. I've posted a legion of my best knights around the entrance to its subterranean hovel to ensure it remains as far from the light of day as possible.

Tom the Angry Drunk: When I was young, free and single, I was quite a happy drunk - either that or I'd drink so much I lost the ability to talk. The arrival of N, however, coincided with the arrival of a new drunken Tom, one that shouted and swore and, worst of all, regularly ran away. For three New Year's Eves in a row, I spent half the night outside on my own. Three years in a row, N had to come and get me. One time that I really don't want to elaborate on, my dad had to come and get me. Oh my God, thinking about it is filling me with woe. It became a running joke. People would place bets on how long it would be before I kicked off. N quite rightly stopped coming to look for me when I ran away, leaving me hiding behind camper vans in car parks in the cold, knowing that I'd come back eventually, my tail between my legs. In time, I realised how ridiculous I had become. The Angry Drunk was therefore defeated, it seems. He is a thing of the past, a legend, a story people tell to scare children.

As I've mentioned, these horrible traits were largely, I think, down to immaturity. I've successfully killed some off and hidden others which has led to a happier, less turbulent life. But relationships change you in other ways, too. You become a different person. I don't want to quote the Spice Girls but 'two become one' does come to mind. For example, before N came along, I hated rock music. Last Saturday I went to an Avenged Sevenfold gig. That's a stupid example but you get my point, through sharing time and experiences you lose some of yourself and replace it with elements of the person you're with. I often find myself wondering who I'd be if I hadn't met N - I have a sneaking suspicion I'd be a complete chav, so I owe him a favour, really. And actually, I feel a bit better having written this. I've never blogged about anything this personal, really, so it's new to me. If nothing else, remembering what a complete bastard I've been in the past has reassured me that nowadays I'm not all that bad! Well done TASG for restoring some of my self-confidence.

And now, over to the girl that rocks restaurants...Lauren, take it away.

An accurate depiction of how I once was. In fact, I'm pretty sure this a 'Tom the Hypocrite moment'.

F%#k it, I'm Just Going to Get a Bunch of Cats

This week The Transatlantic Support Group is discussing “Relationships or Lack Thereof.” Though I try to be all feminist and think “I am fine alone, I don’t need a man,” it’s hard sometimes - especially now that we’re in our twenties and our friends are pairing off, getting married and having babies, buying houses and stuff. There’s so much pressure on us! Have a career, settle down, have your own life. But it’s scary and hard and I don’t want to!

Ahhh!

Okay, so I keep a lot of notebooks and journals and I never throw them out or even tear out pages. Because of this I can tell you that in May 2009 I came up with the four guys who’ve captivated my heart and made me crazy, and I of course gave them hilarious nicknames. It’s been over a year since then, but I’d say the list still stands.

Before I share these with you, I must add that I suck at relationships. Seriously. Don’t ever ask me for advice because I am a lost cause. I choose horrible and/or unavailable people who turn me into a crazy person. That said, I’m going to try to present these as light-heartedly as possible, but in some cases it will be hard to hide the pain/anger/sadness.

Also, back in 2009 I made this graphic featuring South Park characters for each of them, because I thought I might write about them on My Quarter-Life Crisis, but I got nervous and never did. I didn’t want them to accidently (or purposely) stumble upon my blog.

Okay...here we go...

1. Bi-Polar - He’s my number one heartbreak story of all time, with a bullet. We met in high school, he was 17, I was 16. He wore a cute hat and played guitar. We became friends, sort of. We talked on the phone a lot and I always felt like I was close to getting somewhere with him, but he always said nice things, then retracted. Invited me out, then cancelled. This went on for three years. When I started university we didn’t speak for almost four years and I stupidly let him back into my life - because I thought it would be different than before. It wasn’t. Only we were adults and nothing hurts more than being 24-years-old and falling for the same old shit you fell for when you were 17. I’ve slipped up a few times since we last ended things (for the second time). Sorry this wasn’t that funny, I just can’t really think of anything funny to say about this. He played me hot and cold for four and half years combined. This has taught me that drunken emails are a bad idea and you should leave the past in the past.

Listen to: Us Remains Impossible by Matthew Good

2. Baby Daddy - For a more lighthearted story, meet Baby Daddy. When I was 17 I got my first real job at a kiosk in the mall, and he worked at my favourite record store. He was older, smoked (not that that’s cool), and had crazy hair. He used to talk to me all the time on his breaks. He was 22 at the time. Over the years our paths would cross and I always thought he was so adorable and funny and crazy - but I knew I was just a silly high school girl. Later on, during one of my summer’s home from university, our path’s would cross again. In a dirty basement bar he told me how he always liked me and asked me why we never made out. This caught me off guard because It had never occurred to me that he liked me too. So awkwardly, in front of my friend (sorry Amanda) he tried to kiss me. I was pretty much paralyzed by fear and shock. Anyways, after seven gin and tonics I feeling pretty good about that situation, so I gave him my number and he promised to call. I waited. And waited...and waited some more. He never called. Now he has a wife and a baby.

Listen to: Kiss by Prince

3. The Cowardly Manwhore - Never, ever start up a naughty text relationship with one of your friends. Cowardly and I got caught up in a virtual mess that never actually led to anything meaningful and ended with him “dumping” me VIA text telling me he now had a girlfriend! It was so humiliating. I was so hurt by this that I asked him to please talk to me in person. Instead of doing that he avoided me for three and a half years. Also, I should mention that he and I went out several times on what felt like legitimate dates. The good news is that we’re finally speaking again, so that’s good - but we no longer have each other’s cell numbers. [You guys are forcing me to reveal embarrassing stories, jeez].

Listen to: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon

4. Hey! Jude - Hey! Jude knows I exist, but he doesn’t know that in my mind he’s my boyfriend and I’ve named all the dogs we’re gonna have together. He’ll play music, I’ll write and create art on the side, and we’ll just have this fantastic life on the fringe together. I’m insane. I know. Also, I have the same last name as his ex, which doesn’t bode well for me. Chances are I’ll just pine over him from afar for a bit longer until someone new captures my attention. Oh, I met him because he used to play shows with my cousin’s husband. Now, I just stalk him on Facebook and attend the occasional gig. I’ve probably revealed too much already. But if you’re reading this Hey! Jude, want to grab a cup of coffee sometime?

Listen to: Green Eyes by Coldplay

Okay, so now you know how unstable I am. Go ahead, un-follow me, I can take it. I’ve been dumped by a text message - I can handle it. Actually, I can’t...please don’t leave me!

As an added bonus, here are some honourable mentions:

The Dog Guy - a cute customer of mine at the cafe, who had an adorable dog. He and I chatted a few times, but he has since disappeared (or moved). I’m pretty sure he was a borderline alcoholic who hated women though.

Cartoon Boy - another former customer of mine. He was an animator and once he brought in a Star Wars figurine he bought on ebay to show me. He moved up north and I was sad.

The Hot T.A. - he was my T.A. for my first year writing class and he was so good looking he made me nervous. He was a former hockey player, who probably has his PhD in Social and Political Thought by now. I used to sit next to him.

Buddy Holly - he was my grade 9 crush. I used to walk by his locker and freak out because I was just a kid and he was all cool and wore Chuck Taylors and thick black glasses and played guitar. Naturally I hated his girlfriend, even though she was a perfectly nice person. In grade 10, after he was graduated, I used his old locker. It was way out of the way from most of my classes.

Mr. Clarke - Mr. Clarke was my soccer coach when I was in grade 10 (I think). He was a girl on my team’s older brother. He was so cute and I thought I was cooler than I probably was back then.

My Grade 6-8 Crush - He was the most popular boy at school, and I was the most awkward. He made it all worth while by dancing with me at the grade 8 grad dance.

So there you have it folks...now you know that I am terrible at meeting decent people and my “relationships” have all been very unstable and unhealthy.

Tom - I trust you have something witty and British to say about this topic on Wednesday. I’ll be over here, weeping into my virtual pillow.

Lauren - Thanks for the topic suggestion - I would have never had the balls to post this on my main blog. Having back up helps.

Readers - Thank you for making it to the end of this post! I don’t think I ever thought to ask this, but if you guys have any ideas for topics, please share them in the comments. We have made a list ourselves, but feedback and suggestions would be fabulous!