The Part Of The Show Where We All Eat Croissants...

It's Friday, which means it's time to hear about Lauren's perfect day.  Tom and Allison's fabulous global adventures are pretty hard acts to follow, but here it goes:

Morning:  Paris, France

So there I am, wearing a fur stole and a beret, drinking some fancy, over-priced, French latte, and walking down the street at an hour that is totally unrealistic for me to be awake (here in Portland we all sleep till 11).  And then suddenly, I see that Tom guy that sometimes sends me drunk emails from across the globe.  And I'm like, "Holy shit!  You're that Tom guy that sometimes sends me drunk emails from across the globe!  Want to hang out and eat croissants?!"  And Tom is like, "Oh my gawd, I LOVE CROISSANTS!  Actually, I just ran into Allison and she was eating a croissant."  This blows my mind. 

Me:  "Allison is here too?!" 
Tom:  "Yeah, but I think she's on a date, I don't think we should bother her."   
Me:  "Oh come on.  We should totally bother her."
Tom:  "Okay, if you insist."


So we find Allison.  Her fantasy boyfriend Francois has just left to go wash his hair again, so we show up in time for leftover croissants.  The Eiffel tower is in the distance and I think Pink Martini's "Sympatique" is playing somewhere.  We have a lovely little visit before the time comes for us all to go our separate ways.  Allison vows to make a playlist next Tuesday in honor of the event and Tom lets me borrow his iPod so I can listen to Ace of Base on the way to my next location.

Afternoon:  Easter Island

I'm not entirely sure why, but seeing these weird tiki heads has always been a strange ambition of mine:

There are also some really sweet caves on this island to explore.  And in this fantasy, not only am I a spelunking champion, but I am accompanied by a handsome Chilean archaeologist who knows the layout and history of the caves.  Huzzah!


Evening:  The Egyptian Sand Sea near Siwa, Egypt

Unlike the other two places, this is a place I have been before.  It's actually one of my favorite places in the world, which is why I chose to include it in my perfect day. 

I am riding in a white jeep with an Egyptian man named Abdul and a couple of European tourists.  We stop on the top of a large dune to watch the sunset.  Abdul starts a fire and makes tea.  The red glowing ball known as the sun descends into the horizon and everything in the universe feels right. 

Evening:  Whichever European country has the cutest boys and the best discotheques

This one is fairly self-explanatory.  I am dressed to kill and dancing like there's no tomorrow.  Perfect end to a perfect day, right?  :D

Of course, there is a tomorrow.  I awake to the sound of a knock on my door.  I answer it reluctantly and it's the building manager telling me the water is down once again.  Disoriented, I realize I'm back to my life in Portland. 

And that concludes today's edition of The TASG.  This is The Yank, signing off!

Embarrassing Photo:  Exotic Edition

A Brit Abroad

After reading of Allison's globe-trotting Monday, I was quite tempted to steal it. Seriously; coffee, alcohol, FOOTBALL and polar bears. What more could you want? No. No, I'll keep mine. I'll follow Allison's route tomorrow. Today, my itinerary is as follows:

MORNING: Paris, France

I'm strolling down a leafy Parisian boulevard, minding my own business, when out of the corner of my eye I notice a familiar face.
Me: "NO WAY! Allison?
Allison: "Hi -"
Me: "What are you doing here?" Having a croissant I see. I LOVE CROISSANTS. Mind if I join you?"
Allison: "Erm, well..."
Me: "Of course you don't. So tell me, how are things? All good I hope. I had a nightmare journey yesterday, I tell you. I got the train over from London last night, stuck in a tunnel for HOURS."

At this point a dashing young French man emerges from inside the café. I realise that Allison has company, and that I'm sitting on her company's seat and have started tucking into her company's croissant. I realise I am intruding on an otherwise very romantic picture.

Of course, as much as I would love to meet Allison face-to-face, my perfect morning would not actually involve gatecrashing an otherwise perfect date. But it would be in Paris. I find the city enchanting. It's so different to what I'm used to - London strikes me as a butch, brash and masculine city compared to its elegant, pretty yet no less bustling counterpart across the Channel.

So here I am, Paris. It's autumn and the trees that line the streets are shedding their brown leaves. I'm sitting on a balcony, overlooking a sea of rooftops, buildings jostling for space as far as the eye can see. The noise of a city waking up and dragging itself to work fills the air. The sky is blue and clear; a bright sunlight bounces off the pavements still wet from an early morning shower. It's a little cold, but I have a coffee to warm, and wake, me up.

And then I go and gatecrash Allison's date. Bonjour François!

AFTERNOON: Chia, Sardinia, Italy

'Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun' is truer than you may think. I'm the only one here. The locals have retired to their homes for lunch and to shelter from the heat. But I live in such a cold and grey country I stubbornly refuse. Instead, I sit on the beach, listening to the waves break on the shore as flamingos fly over head. Seagulls' cries float on the wind as a cloud passes over the sun.

On the the cliffs that jut out into the sea to my left, a ruined tower stands. It's incredible that it's still standing, at least in part. It must be as stubborn as me. And then I realise that my face is on fire. Aw crap.

[EDIT: This part would obviously not occur on the perfect day, but will occur without fail on every other holiday I go on. In October I went to Frankfurt with work. I spent all day, every day inside and came back with a tan. I have no idea how. Sunburnt Tom in picture below, for reference. Ouch.]

EVENING: Athens, Greece

I stand on the Acropolis looking out over the city, watching as the sun sets and shadow creeps over the rooftops. Behind me stands the Parthenon; an ancient wonder that I've been wandering around for the past half an hour. I've been taking it in, imagining how it used to look and wishing I'd seen it in its former glory. I wonder who walked this path 2,000 years ago and what sights the lifeless, stone eyes of the Erechtheum's caryatids have witnessed as time passed them by. The setting sun shines through its columns as I begin to head back down the hill. Back in the city, I choose a restaurant with a table outside. I sip at a cold glass of Mythos as I wait for my moussaka. The calm, before the storm.

NIGHT TIME: New York, US of A.

Yes, I've finally dragged my sorry arse out of the Old World and into the New. Where better to spend an evening than the city that never sleeps? Not that I've ever been, but I'm pretty sure I would be hard-pressed to not have a good time. I love cities, I love hustle and bustle, bright lights and loud noises. I drink until I'm drunk enough to dance, dance until I'm too tired to stand, sit and remind myself that I shouldn't ever dance in public.

And I tell you what else I'd do; I'd get the Subway really late at night (or early in the morning) because I've heard that in the Big Apple it runs all night. Imagine that for someone from London, or "the City That Packs Up and Goes to Bed at 12", leaving you to battle your own way home.

And then I wake up, and realise I'm incredibly late for work.

The Day I ate Croissants with Rugby Playing Polar Bears in Tokyo

Tom suggested the topic this week and it’s pretty fun. It’s nice to be creative sometimes. This time of year can be so dreary for those of us in the Northern parts of the world! So, the premise is that we have to breakdown a day into four parts: morning, afternoon, evening, and night. Each portion of the day will be “spent” in a different dream place - a place we’d want to be at that time of day, so in our minds we travel the world - escape our realities.

Welcome to my Perfect Day!

Morning: I’m in Paris, France - sitting on the patio of a tiny café enjoying a latte and a croissant. The Eiffel tower can be seen in the distance. I might have a book with me. It’s sunny and warm - jacket weather. My fantasy boyfriend François is sipping his espresso while reading the newspaper. He is wearing a cabbie/golf style hat and a scarf.

Paris

Afternoon: I’m in Churchill, Manitoba on a Polar Bear Expedition. I’m in a parka and it’s bloody cold, but I don’t care. I get to see polar bears in the wild and can die happy. Here, I meet a functioning alcoholic named Jim, originally from Winnipeg. He’ll try to get me to eat seal meat and I’ll refuse. He calls me a city slicker, but we’ll still take shots of whisky at the bar.

Churchill

Evening: I’m in Dublin, Ireland at a pub. It’s cozy and filled with spirited locals. They know I’m a tourist and mock me for it - but it’s all in good fun. I eat a hearty meal of comfort foods while a “football” or rugby match plays on the televisions. I meet a cute local, but I forget his name and start calling him Patrick or Paddy - he does not like this. I ask him, drunkenly, if he can chase all the snakes away from Canada.

Dublin

Night: I’m in Tokyo, Japan. It’s busy and chaotic - but wonderful. The city lights are spectacular. Nothing makes sense, but it’s okay. I dance with young Japanese boys, and won’t learn a single name. I’ll disappear into the night and wake up in my bed in Ontario - I’ll look out my window and see snow and wonder where all the polar bears are.

Tokyo

But sadly due to time differences, money, and the fact that I'm not adventurous, I am stuck in this for a few more months:

Photo by me.

So this gal, from the Great White North, is signing off till next Monday. So enjoy my fantasy world guys!

Oh!! Canada

See ya Tom - Thanks for the sweet topic idea!