Dear Résumé,
I’m Allison, remember me? The girl with all the education who works at a coffee shop? You’re supposed to be helping me! Now, while you look pretty (thanks to me), you aren’t functioning the way you should. I’m so frustrated with you I could tear you to pieces and just start fresh.
Okay, so I lack experience, but I make up for it in transferable skills, no? Why aren’t you pushing my skills? My ability to work well with deadlines? I’ve proofread you time and time again, re-ordered you, changed your font...nothing. It leads to nothing.
When will you succeed for me? I can’t get more experience until someone finally believes in you. Do you believe in me, Resume? I’m beginning to think you’re sabotaging me on purpose. Giving me spelling errors in transit, after I’ve pressed send.
I work hard each day serving people with “real” jobs coffee, and they look at me like I’m just another apron providing them with caffeine. I work a job that I could have gotten with a resume filled with spelling and punctuation errors, but I chose you because I want to aim high - I want to do better.
So Resume, you and I have to chat. We have to work something out soon, because I’m not getting any younger and time is a’wastin’!
Don’t even get me started on your friend Cover Letter.
Sincerely,
The Coffee Girl Canuck
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| Happy Halloween! File this under embarrassing photo #4! |
Don't we all love that part of life? Luckily for me I don't got no education (haha! Not very often I can say that) so my resume holds it's own.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm selling myself but no one wants to buy. I think the whole whoring yourself out for little in return is the part that frustrates me the most.
ReplyDeleteThere are days when I feel like I wasted four years in university - but I probably shouldn't say that.
I just want someone to take a chance on me! (Lame Abba reference!)
God Resumé, sort yourself out. Now.
ReplyDeleteI remember, before I got the job I'm at now, applying for hundreds and hearing nothing back. It's soul destroying.
Fortunately, somebody did take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me.
What sort of industry do you want to work in? Or are you keeping an open mind? I really hope something comes up. :)
I look for editorial assistant jobs, copy editor, proofreader...that sort of stuff. Most of the jobs ads unfortunately expect someone with 2-5 years experience.
ReplyDeleteOh man. I hate writing resumes. I have the same problem as you - I can never figure out how to fit everything an employer should know about me onto one lousy piece of paper. It usually just ends up looking like I'm really inexperienced.
ReplyDeleteAnd Cover Letters are the worst things ever.
Btw, as of yesterday, it looks like all systems are go for me to work in the new restaurant that's opening up nearby. So I'm about to join your club of having a stupid job that has nothing to do with a college degree. Huzzah!
Also, great picture. Haha. I love our tradition of embarrassing photos.
Well my Resume is two pages - and I change it for each job I apply for.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on joining the ranks of the educated, bitter, but employed!
Commune + new job = more interesting stories for The TASG!
I hate resume writing. It's difficult and it feels so pointless when nobody ever acknowledges it's existence. I agree, resumes feel as though you're pimping yourself out and nobody wants to buy. Soul crushing.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking to switch jobs at the moment and it's extremely difficult, even with two years of experience in the field. I don't think I've had anyone even glance at my CV. I blame the damn cover letter.
I suppose that's the Name of the Game. (continuing the ABBA references)
Perhaps we should host a Transatlantic Resume Writing Seminar.
ReplyDeleteCover letters were put on this earth to torture us. But after the amount i've written i pretty much feel like my job should just be to write them LOL
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, i found out for myself it's not what you know - it's who you know. And i for one, think that is the dumbest.shit.ever. I WORKED MY BUTT OFF IN UNIVERSITY - why won't you recognize this?!
Good luck, you WILL find something :)
Yeah, I pretty much would rather shoot myself in the face than write a cover letter that pretty much says: I'm fucking awesome, but you don't give a shit and will probably hire someone internally and ignore my application!
ReplyDelete